Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Distinct Inferioritydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brwnsknsam05
    ASL Info:    32/F/ Cuba
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 399/440/103
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 869
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1061



    Description:
       This is how I have developed how my family all of them...blood or not have evolved. This is who I am. A mix breed. Enjoy


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDistinct Inferioritydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Who AM I!
    I am a product of you…
    Look at me…
    Look at you…

    Pale brown skin
    Brown eyes
    Full lips
    And a honey spirit
    Simple characteristics…
    You have
    Tears fall down
    Your small face
    Consistent
    Leaving salty stains behind

    Your crushed freedom
    Away from the abuse
    The hurt and the pain
    The sorrow her heart feels

    As it wakes for tomorrow

    A bitter day is how
    She is scorn
    Ripped, torn, hit
    Is how you were borne
    The disaster child
    Brown skin
    And honey fingers
    Tender smiles
    Small features
    Little bundle
    Was she…
    Were you…
    Borne to slavery
    Servitude and loyalty
    Bond by birth
    Until death
    To be beaten
    Carmel skin bruised
    Battered and ruined
    A father’s sin
    America’s little secret
    And I am a mirror image of you
    America…bow down
    I have arrived




    Submitted on 2005-03-13 20:32:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sounds like somebody needs a hug lol. Nah this is good tho. I like how the repetition came back like that cuz to me it seemed like a symphony crescendoing. Its funny how alot of ppl won't ever get how history sticks with blacks who stay black - history from 200 years ago or from 20. I think all that one can hope is that somehow they have the ability to remember they history, but not force they own offspring to kno it - tell the stories and don't relive em i guess.
    shard
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds bitter, and hurt. but at the same time it has this striking defiance in it, which i did like. and it does apply to the greater reference..which is america, i thought that was fantastic. the cycle is introduced, the cycle of generations, mine just happens to be different...but similar...if that makes sense. great write though. take care..i'mthinking of you, all the way over here

    love,
    brent
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice peice, not only does it give characteric feeling and depth but it isn't boring and dull like most young poetry that simple is about being depressed. In fact if a am not mistaken it could work in multiple eras. Currently, I am reading Jubilee and I get a sence that you have read it too, because alot of the same elements in your writing seem to be in the book. Those are my thoughts anyway and I khope to be reading more from you!

    -Akai-
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by Akai_oni | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    50280

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    True Death written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Brigit written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry