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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mommy & Daddydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theDevilsPocket
    ASL Info:    20 Female
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 241/155/33
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 346
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1156



    Description:
       This piece is dedicated to my younger sister, who I didn't know about until I was 16.
    I love you Jaymez.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMommy & Daddydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mommy was addicted
    Always drunk and high,
    Daddy looked upon his
    Wife and laughed, “So am I”.

    Mommy empties bottles
    Daddy uses syringes,
    Both empty baggies
    During their week long binges.

    Mommy is dazed out
    Daddy is phased too,
    Neglected little child
    They’ve forgotten you.

    Mommy starts the shouting
    Daddy starts the beatings,
    Poor little child and your
    Unfortunate mistreating.

    The baby lay weeping
    In her darkened room alone,
    How long before,
    It becomes a broken home?

    Years have passed now
    You were taken from the home,
    Away from the narcotics
    And violence, which you’d known.

    Mommy has one more child
    Daddy has two more,
    One after you,
    One five years before.

    Mommy never told me
    Daddy never knew,
    Now I know the truth
    Now I know about you.

    Mommy’s still addicted
    Daddy’s drunk and high,
    But I’m here now baby sister
    Now you don’t have to cry.




    Submitted on 2005-03-13 22:09:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      This tugged at my heart. I stand in awe of people who survive that kind of treatment, not only withstand, but have the ability to talk about it. Your sister is very lucky to have you. I know I wouldn't have made it this far without my sibblings.

    I read your other poem, as well, I do hope to read more after these two. You've packed a very solid punch to the heart with your writing. Keep going.

    -Bonnie
    | Posted on 2008-06-12 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a story sad but true, that happens to so many children growing up. It is a beautiful gift you have been given to be able to express your deepest feelings this way, I do hope you take your gift as it is a blessing. This is an AWESOME !!!!!!!!! write and this one sincerely did touch my heart and I understand the feelings expressed in this piece all to well. I hope you do not mind me adding this one to my favs I truely enjoyed reading this one even the it is sad it is still very emotional and so heartfelt.

    I love that you did the most honorable thing to take her under your wing like that. that is what made this piece so beautiful to do that takes alot of courage and love,and your words speak of hurt,saddness,surprise, but in the end you showed your sister how much you love her even though you didn't know about her . nothing like the love of family.
    This will always be a great one of your writes.

    Ladymustang
    | Posted on 2007-07-12 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      this is only the secong one i read of your poems so far and i like them both...
    simple and easy to read,straight to the point but heartfelt and deep...
    they are sad poems but i think you are stronger because of them.

    this one is sad yet so good.it really make me stop and realise that i am one of the luckier ones.thank you for letting me a peek into your life with your poems
    | Posted on 2007-03-29 00:00:00 | by rubymoon | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful. It is a wonderful thing that you would take he in and tuck her under your wing. After not knowing of her...there is still the love for the same blood is there.

    This was shown in a way that one could only feel your pain. Great expression in this one.

    Keep your head up and stay strong. It will all pay off in the end.

    Much love,

    li
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      its hard to see family distraught because of parents neglect, here is a question i fight with everyday, should i still love my mother and if so where do i find that love? i hated my parents hated their souls, i still hate my mother, i hate her with dire detest, and when i go to hell i hope she is there burning, so i can look at her and laugh, so she can see what she has made...sorry to get off the subject of your right, im not a critique, sometimes i try but all i can see is that this is a thoughtfull poem and i like it..
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by fallenone | [ Reply to This ]
      tOMG i loved this ...t was so sad.. recently in my home town there was a little girl who died from her parents abussing her (small town).. it was so sad... the cops didnt get to her in time and this just brought back memories of the little girl from Kentucky.. anyway i made me cry... very nice work... very sad though...
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by Caroline_19 | [ Reply to This ]
      Your work is so basic and yet the message so deep and heartbreaking. I was torn as I read this poem because it's almost like a childrens rhyme but the subject matter so dark. Your sister is fortunate to have been reunited with you. I would not, for an instant, think of giving any kind of a critique on this piece because I feel the love and pain that went into it and that my friend is what poetry is all about. dmm
    | Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, such a powerful emotion wrapped in such a simple form!
    This is exceptionally heart-rendering, as so many children can tell this tale, it's incredible though, about your sister, I'm so very glad you've found her...
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my God, this is so good. And I think that's great that you found her and let her into your heart so quickly. I have a friend who knows about a long lost brother, but unfortunantely, she probably will never find him.

    But getting back to the poem...wow....the rhyming was perfect, and it was described so well that I actually felt tears coming to my eyes. Seriously. It was a great story, and sad, but at least it sort of has a happy ending.

    Great job, this was written really well.

    ~Piper
    | Posted on 2006-12-05 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]



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