Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Hidden


Author: Chicool2
ASL Info:    17/f/Pennsylvania
Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 266 /260 /60
Words: 270
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1041
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1623



Description:


I had to write a letter to my friend b/c he has a crush on me, but I have a crush on someone else, so as I was writing, it started coming in poem form...


Hidden



Do you know why I hide behind my walls?
They're so steady and so pure
It's the only thing I can trust
Because everyone else turns away

I'm scared of losing in a world of all wins
In a world of much pain
I'm scared far more than you can imagine
Scared more than death itself

I've counted the times
I've lost all my sweethearts
The boyfriends I had
Left with pieces of my shattered heart

It hurts too much
That I can't rip those pieces back
They've been thrown into the trash
And not in a safe place

My eyes run dry
With no tears left to weep
I want to cry
But instead here I stand

With no love in my heart
And no one in my hand
You may say what you want to
But I am too far broken

You think you understand
I tell you
You have no idea
Of the pain that wretches at each contour of my soul

I say yet again
And when I was standing in the hall today
Next to that one person
I care so much for
He tapped me
and said not much more
For I couldn't look up
into his deep eyes
And tell him how much he has made me cry
And how much it hurt
to walk into a hall
and see not a face
That I was looking for that made me fall
Right into this deep hole
That no one can fill
I'm sorry to say
That no one, but him, ever will....




Submitted on 2005-03-14 15:09:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Yes your poem did make many people relate to this poem, I actually wrote a poem on this subject called the love curse. You did a very good job of displaying what it feel like to be in that kind of position,which so sucks. Of course wiith you beeing a darling you don't want to hurt the friend who has a crush on you and you don't want to be crush by the guy you so want.

Good write
| Posted on 2005-03-25 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  It is hard to manuever around someone that likes you more then you like them. You love them for the friend they are, but nothing more. And then you feel like you have to sneak around so you don't hurt their feelings. It sucks. This was a very interesting way to express yourself. I definitely felt the emotion.

Great write.

Alicia
| Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
  Amy this has so much emotion. I liked alot of your metaphors too. This is so powerful and I know how you are feeling. But some part of me gets angry whenever you write about this stuff. Because he does have some kind of feeling for you. It gets me so mad that he is going forth, towards you and asking you out. He does like you, sooner or later your dreams will come true. But if he keeps doing this stuff to you.. I don't know what else to say but to move on. I mean maybe he is like the same way to you as chelsea. But he doesn't admitt. But if you put all the tricks he pulled and all those other things he said to you. It doesn't seem right. And somewhere... There is misunderstanding. I just hope sooner or later dear, you take action and really think about this. To me its serious.. But what he does to you, doesn't seem to much like fairness to you. You can get someone better. Maybe say...Bob

much love to ya hun

good luck

stephanie
| Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
  this was good, but... you owe me a write. Remember? Mickey Mouse? Yur a week and a day late.
| Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by WD20x2 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



50355