Okay I also hate this poem you liked didn't you? But whatever this was a little short and I don't think you finished a full thought. I did to your so badly I would think of knowing would strengthen for me. Anyways I don't feel another I'll just get down to the point. You had a spelling error in the third paragraph. And I don't think this was long enough like I said you didn't finish the thought. Well good luck on your next poem. Peace Mysterious
Well I wish I could read your mind because I would give anything to know who the hell you write all this stuff about. This poem is ok. It's a little short and not very thought out but keep working luv ya Mysterious
I really like this poem..it seems as though you really care for the person that you wrote it for..although it really does seem a little short and choppy..and neither of those things have to do with eachother..it could stay short..but the wording seems a little forced and a bit choppy..just thought i would tell you that..but it really was beautiful and you are a very talented writier..wow..
I am not sure but I think you meant [mess it up in the kast line . Other than that I really liked it . A little simple but simple is good especially for A Lame Mans Terms guy like myself. Anyway not a bad lil write keep it up~L.t
I think you could be a little more descriptive and really dig deep to express your feelings in more of a unique voice. The topic is obviously dear to you and deserves the wings that you could give it to soar. Tell us why and how and where and such. I just feel like I don't get a sense of you through it. I want to see the person you are speaking of through your eyes. This could be a good piece if you will dig deeper and not be afraid to show more of you. Hope some of this helps- Magnolia