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Enough


Author: Rubi_Roja
ASL Info:    20/F/
Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 185 /164 /29
Words: 138
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1218
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 769



Description:




Enough



It is not enough to say the soles of my shoes are misunderstood,
it is not even enough to say they have been everywhere except where they should,
but it is enough to remember all the clever pieces that escaped your lips,
enough to unintentionally think of you and lose reality's grip,
it is not enough to say your sharp glances were wanted here,
and it is not even enough perhaps to enjoy life when you are near,
but it is enough to give into your hands instead of solitude,
enough that I would not think to resist that dark attitude,
there is never enough when it boils down to you, so much to say, to much to do,
there is always to much when it comes to me, a complete excess, to much to be




Submitted on 2005-03-15 00:45:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  lovely. of all the pieces that iv read, this has to be one of the best, most honest and intuitive piece ever. i like the way you rhymed, although the content and idea was good enough, the way you worded each and every sentiment PERFECTLY was enough to grab hold of my view. im tucking it away, without copyright infringement of course.
| Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by serpentarius | [ Reply to This ]
  The sentiments of the write are valid. The use of the word "enough" lost power in the redundancy. You could find other words like "plenty" or "sufficient" which would help the read and still carry your thoughts along the flow.

You write well.
| Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
  i like it because of the of the way the poem is explanatory and repetitive. it easly tells how you feel in a calm subtle way with out taking away from the amount of emotion this poem is ment to portray. it is lovely the way you express your longing here.

there is never enough when it boils down to you, so much to say, to much to do,
there is always to much when it comes to me, a complete excess, to much to be

i think that says alot and ends the poem with a emotional statment that holds clarity. take care and good write
| Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
  i think you have tremendous potential with this piece. i think you should do some revising though. each line has about 20 syllables. with minimal effort your could split the lines in half and use iambic pentameter...you're rhyme scheme is already set. also, you need to change quite a few of your "to"s to "too"s. i know that sounds kinda like alot of stuff, but i think you have something awesome here and need to polish it :)
| Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
  This piece is good but it can be great! Find some structure. Separate the "enoughs" from the "not enoughs" and I think this piece will be cruising to the Elite Hall of Fame.

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| Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
  This had great meaning. Yet I agree that the word "enough" is maybe used too much. Then again, this is your use of expression and could be perfect in your eyes. If so, then I wouldn't change a thing. I think that you have pure talent with the use of words and expressions.

Alicia
| Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]


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