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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Why Would Hedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 277
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 791
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1719



    Description:
       Rough draft


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhy Would Hedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why would he grab that knife
    Why would he grabs though pills
    why would he grab the rope

    He does that for attention
    At school he being pick on
    At home he beat and yelled at.

    Why would he grab that knife
    Why would he grabs toughs pills
    why would he grab the rope

    He does that for attention
    He trying all the drugs
    He trying all the alcohol
    He is wishing he could fly away.

    He wants to die today.
    He is craving for attention
    now he's fantasying about how he could die.

    Why would he grab that knife
    Why would he grabs toughs pills
    why would he grab the rope

    He does because no one know he existed
    No one cares
    His only friend is his knife
    He asks himself a question
    Will some one care
    After I take my life.

    Now he is in the kitchen
    Searching for a knife
    He grabs the sharpest knife.
    He starts cut open his wrist
    his parents are in the next room.
    He knows his parents don't care
    blood is coming from his wrist
    Like a rapid river.
    He walks away so no one can find him.
    Two days later he is found on the ground
    in his closet grabbing his best friend.
    The paramedic say's "itís to late".
    The mother breaks down crying
    knowing why he did this.
    She looks into his eyes
    realizing he is at peace
    for the first time in his life.
    People realize the pain they enforced upon him
    now he got what he wanted
    He has people caring for him.




    Submitted on 2005-03-15 10:57:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      that was awesome, i loved it but you seem to have a problem with spelling(me to don't feel bad i have to write it in word and then paste it on here because other wise i look like a dumbass) i love the lines"Why would he grab that knife
    Why would he grabs toughs pills
    why would he grab the rope" rope or knife we have all thought about it many times over.
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you repeat the part about grabbing the knife and the pills. Though there seem to be alot of spelling and grammar errors but this being a first draft and all...It says to me that no one really appreciated him until they realized it was"to late". And the ending really haunts me how finally he was at peace after all that suffering and how he finally found his peace in death. The flow of words is nice though the grammatical and spelling errors made me stumble. To me this poem is about escaping from a living hell and finally finding the ultimate peace. And I can certainly relate because I feel like he did alot of the time.
    | Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by ourobus | [ Reply to This ]


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