[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Kill the Momentdots

    Author: Dipsomniac
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 59/70/18
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 810
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1270

       This song I wrote when I was thinking about people with wasted lives, and how they must feel about what's gone, and how other people see them.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKill the Momentdots

    Welcome in, have a seat
    Itís time to watch over your life
    Pick out all the times you wish never were
    Replace them with things of which youíre sure
    With that day in October
    Before it was all over

    They told that all you could do you did
    Well Iím sayin theyíre right
    They told you to not look back and regret
    But itís out of sight

    Donít you wish you could change that day
    A September afternoon, drowning in gloom
    You shouldíve used less words, less lies
    Unfortunately you only get one try

    And so tomorrow will be the last day of your life
    I think you couldíve done better, wouldnít you say?
    I believe thereís more that was hidden here
    But you didnít care enough to stay

    So welcome in, have a seat
    Itís time to watch over your life
    And record over the times you wish never were
    Replace them with things about her
    With a smell on the breeze
    With her touch youíre at ease
    Itís time to say goodbye

    Donít regret it, itís done
    You canít change the past
    Kill the moment, youíre no fun
    But thatís a memory that wonít last

    Submitted on 2005-03-15 16:39:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is nicely done. Really makes people think about their lives, and what they have or have not done, and how much time they have to do it in. The rhyming and flow were smooth. Wonderful job!
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      good, as usual, though it sounds like it fits better in the rhythm and setting of a song. An interesting glimpse of whatcould be the end of times. though apparentlly without a celestial being. at least in this part of the picture. Good ol' Alan twist, of course.
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by beninbrasil | [ Reply to This ]
    this was my fav of all ur others so i've chosen to comment on it.. i really liked it, the last stanza kind of confused me, specially the last line..didnt really understand wat u meant there..while i was reading this, all i could think was: wow this is so true...i mean the part of hw we do look back and regret somethings..i really liked it...i do hv a question though, when u say "welcome in, have a seat", r uu by any chance referring to after we die we look back on our life and regret somethings?? just wondering cuz it seems like it...
    great write!
    | Posted on 2005-03-20 00:00:00 | by DeepsLighter | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent! I like this poem . . . A LOT! Your wording was used very well.

    They told you to not look back and regret
    But itís out of sight

    There's one example. The way you worded it was really good.
    The message to it was quite clear and I feel that it got the point across really well.
    | Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by WindEmpress | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]