This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Deathrow


Author: Deacon
Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 19 /23 /9
Words: 193
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1626
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 747



Description:


Well in order to really "feel" this. you need to read each line faster, louder and with a sense of finality as you go down. Let me know if it works :)


Deathrow



Sitting.........................................................Tied
Sweating................................................Slides
Goosebumps.........................................Rise
Eyes...............................................Tight
Blood.......................................Drips
Hair....................................Stiff
Toes............................Curl
Brain..................Whirls
Lungs............Leak
Breath....Weak
Nails......Dig
Will..Sinks
Death.Rings




Submitted on 2005-03-16 08:41:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  There is a sense of inevitabilty of something happening you get when you read this poem. It's brilliant. Have you, or have you thought about, reading this poem at a Poetry Slam, it would go down really well there.
| Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by Speacenik | [ Reply to This ]
  It works pretty good... You realyl started out with a definate feeling of being trapped and all along the way down, when reading it faster and faster, the reader can really envision the person that is tied to the chair... You also convey the feeling of desperation and its transfer into numbness and giving in to the gripping death... Overall it worked rather well... I like it alot. Keep it up.
.Caleb.
| Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow lol it actually works pretty well. The feeling that while you read faster and faster, it seems as though the person's adrenaline is increasing more and more, until the very end, when everything comes crashing down, to the point of his death. I really liked it, it is an idea that is new to me, which makes it all the more enjoyable. Good work!
| Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by xeternalshadowx | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



50558