What a way to get people thinking!!! I have felt this way for as long as I can remember yet I was not able to put it in words, as you so professionally did! This has got to be one of my favorites...NICE!
too much repetitions but still this poem surprises me for it has 324 readers to claim i know you are telling about life death related issues mainly a poem consists of them or atleast mine do.
i didnt know it was a translation
from which is it translated
o man this is a sikk poem it really made me think aabout some of the things religeon may hav taught us but also science with reincarnation and all but dude its a touching poem man keep it up i really enjoyed it also teaches a meaning, a meaning of hope and what might happen.
Damm right. We are born to die. The doctor is an executioner. I've said this to many people before. I've inadvertently touched on it in some of my work since my stuff is either agressive or depressive. I like this though as a single specific topic to write about and you did it well. Some people might be turned off to the repeated lines but I like it Helll I do it myself. That's what is great about poetry, you can do whatever the fucc you want.
I had a class in New Testament in college taught by a
Catholic priest. And his impression was that Christ's sacrifice was not in dying , but in having to leave the Father in the first place. Your write reminded me of this.
But the other idea is that the work to make a better world is being done here, now and if we want to be a part of it, we can't look upon life as sorrow.
Realistic, very moving, very striking. Every line seems a punchline and the repetitions of stanza: 'When you cannot breathe It’s hard to speak' is a smart way to control the flow of the poem. Birth and death, we like not to view things upside down because they scare us.
This poem touched me in a way that no other poem has touched me
I get the feeling that you were refering to us leaving heaven to come to the Earth Yes the world can be cold but there is many ways to heat oneself in this life on Earth I believe we are here to spread Gods love and give to others the love that we have been given
Once again an Incredible Write Great Job Ron
Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my poetry and let me know what you think Thank You and God Bless Ron
this was great really makes one stop and think very deep thought process, i picked this one to comment on as it is my daughters name great write and geat read thanx for the comment on sandman i am glad you enjoyed sandman
Hey there. Wow. I don't think I've come across your profile on here before. But I am glad that I did. This is beautiful writing. Just absolutely beautiful writing.
The words just had such great power behind them. As dmm said in his/or her previous comment, I felt a kinship with you as I read this. This piece is exquisite. I am highly impressed. And I wouldn't dare change a single word of this. I do wish that I read Romanian so that I might relate more closely to the original piece.
I felt a kinship with you as I read this piece. I have often asked the question of people that if God is wonderful and heaven so beautiful, why are we all fighting so hard to stay out of it? Also I believe that we are reborn. Hell is being seperated from our creator. You have written a fine piece here and I look forward to reading more of your material. dmm
hold friggin sh*t... that had to be the most powerful piece every.. it was purley perfect... I don't eve nknow what to say.. the words wer e great and they fit... the fact that you used the same "stanza" over after every line really brought me in and fit well... the emotion was great and at the end I felt so much taht I could even describe it... this is definitely going in the fav's section.
I would love to read the Romanian version if of course I could read Romanian. This is really powerful and the only thing I can think is holy [censored]. Kinda like bleedbroken. It's exquisite work and I wouldn't want to change a thing about it. Awesome write and most deffinately a new favorite.
This is a powerful piece despite it being a translation. I love the echoing feeling that the repetitive lines give...like a mantra. The opening stanzas connect in a way as if the dead is trying to speak, but perhaps the berieved also is trying to speak through a chest too tight with tears to breathe. You did a wonderful job transfering us to birth with the thought that it is it's own kind of death and that in dying there is a rebirth, and that life ends and begins with someone crying. jan
Submission Name: Ash
