Slobbering Buzzard by marysunshine

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Submission Name: Slobbering Buzzard dots

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Author:	marysunshine
ASL Info:	30, Female,
Elite Ratio:	4.48 - 610/705/75
Words:	119

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	363
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	813

Description:
I saw a buzzard eating roadkill. I think that's a sign of spring...so I smiled.

Slobbering Buzzard dots

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Slobbering buzzard in the grassy patch
spots the rot in the road.
Hops left, scoots right
like Frogger dodging Chryslers
to meet his rancid road-kill feast.
Pecks one, two, three,
with his ice pick-mouth,
cracks the skull
of some mammal
maimed to unnamable.
Pulls brains and guts
like gum off the street
from the corpse of the fuzzy guy
(that was running for his life yesterday)
Snot-noses of kids
are pressed to the glass of dusty minivans.
They squeal “Ewwww!”, but keep an eye
on the scene common to springtime.
The buzzard keeps up chomping
without notice of his gagging audience.
He’s just performing his civic cleaning for the city
free of charge.

Submitted on 2005-03-16 15:17:57 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Once again, as Observer you are unmatched. You've probably never even seen this, but you've managed to conjure it up with such realism and attention to the details, I wouldn't know the difference. I mean, really, Mary, your ability to put us in the moment and see through your eye of imagination is truly masterful. And as always, there's this underlying smile or humor running throughout. It says an awful lot about the poetess behind the poetry.

Me likes what me sees.
| Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't think we have buzzards around here. Too bad...looks like an interesting sight.

K. I'm really trying to be helpful and so these days I look for things to nitpick about. I read it several times and the only thing is a possible typo scull > skull...as for things to like, there's plenty

You know me and my love of alliteration and assonance, you have both really, in this beauty -

of some mammal
maimed to unnamable

great descriptions like -

his ice pick-mouth and

Pulls brains and guts /like gum off the street

As I was thinking out where to go from here, I was about to highlight a few other sequences that I really liked and realized that would only leave 2 or 3 lines unmentioned, so I won't bother. Instead, let me just say that you lead in with a really fun, bouncy start and ended with a clever observation, and in between you carried the story through with skill and consistency. So...great job! I mean really, there is nothing NOT to like about this.

Not sure how it brings spring, but if it does Long Live the Buzzard!
| Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
  I read this and loved it. Then I took out three lines, read it again, and thought it read a little bit better. Here are the ones I took out:

> (that was running for his life yesterday)

> He’s just performing his civic cleaning for the city
> free of charge

The last lines seemed to me to be written to a different theme than the rest, like the poem is observational, but the last two lines are social commentary. Anyhow, that's my take on it. Regardless, YAY for another fun piece!
bent
| Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by bent | [ Reply to This ]
  lol I had a lot of fun reading this one. I haven't really seen anything quite like it before. This is full of humor, and yet it is written pretty well.

Hops left, scoots right
like Frogger dodging Chryslers
to meet his rancid road-kill feast

haha I love those lines right there, FROGGER RULES!

Good work
| Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by xeternalshadowx | [ Reply to This ]
  I always envy those who can turn mundane, evryday experiences into an actual peom, The activites of a turkey buzzard, I site I see often, but never thought of wrting about. Very trippy.
| Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]

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