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Loner


Author: diabolicmaggot
ASL Info:    16/f/The depths of hell
Elite Ratio:    2.5 - 15 /26 /11
Words: 87
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 885
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 702



Description:


What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


Loner



Left all alone
No one is there for you
Left all alone
No one cares for you
Lonely, alone
Scared, feared
Anger and hate for all those around you
Hate, loathe
Wicked, Animosity
Your obscene gestures
Your diabolic mind
Your spawned problems
Sated with yourself
Your feelings is your demise
Ogle your problems
Cause cataclysms to please yourself
Become a sacrilegious leader
Injure yourself, then others
Endure great pain, afflicted by yourself
Morbid mind
Cruel and aggressive
Unnoticed cadaver, scattered and torn
Decaying slowly, maggots everywhere




Submitted on 2005-03-16 17:03:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  um... i like it... the beginning was good but by the midle you went in another direction.. dont get me wrong it's a good piece but i think it could have been better... just have to work on it a little more
| Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by anita_89 | [ Reply to This ]
  Very good poem. I can relate to feeling this way, It really touched me. It really does bring you down when you feel completely all alone. Very dark and shows your pain and anger very well. I think tho that you left a little more to be desired, i think that maybe if you added more to it then it would have been great. Over all i think this was a good poem, and i can completely relate to feeling alone and being almost bitter about how others are wrapped up in themselves
| Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by Silent Sorrows2 | [ Reply to This ]
  so much hurt, anger. suicidal thoughts. very vivid. i felt the pain, confusion, hatred, hopelessness, sorrow. reading this i just wanted to wrap myself in black and curl up in a dark place and wait for the world to pass by.
| Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by biwitchin_angel | [ Reply to This ]
  i agree with everyone elsewho has commented. This poem is very confusing. I like it and the fact that it gives vivid imagery, but i dont really understand what your feeling was behind it. :)

~LeAnna~
| Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
  this poem was good. i agree with Tidal33 it's doesn't show a good picture for the reader and it seem confusing. Other than that it's good hope to here from you.
| Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
  I found the poem to be kind of messy. I am not saying it is bad. I liked it but felt that if you worded it just a little bit differently you could paint a more vivid picture for the reader. Right now it is more confusing.
| Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by Tidal33 | [ Reply to This ]
  very great use of your feelings u don't sugar coat things and that is very good if you want people to actually feel the feelings ur feeling which i did what was your inspiration for this poem?
| Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by boo boo | [ Reply to This ]


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