Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: City of a Thousand Lightsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dipsomniac
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 59/70/18
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 844
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1188



    Description:
       This one I wrote around the beginning of last year. It's about realizing that the person you're with may not be right for you, and may even cause more trouble than they're worth.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCity of a Thousand Lightsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I say, stop just what youíre worrying
    Today, gonna find out what youíre made of
    I say, stop just what youíre crying
    Today, gonna make you fall in love with me
    And whoís to say that youíll never say
    Okay, letís try and work this out

    So put an end to my every doubt
    Drop it all and forget our fights
    The pain inside is wanting out
    Deep inside the city of a thousand lights

    They say, canít have one with out the other
    Here I lay, screaming that I love her
    And Iíll pay for pouring myself out
    But they say, thatís what love is about

    So put an end to all my doubts
    Drop it all and forget our fights
    Make everyone wonder what weíre about
    Deep inside the city of a thousand lights

    Love, oh my love is spinning round
    Sky is crying, burn holes in the ground
    And itís here on this shattered earth
    I see youíre more trouble than itís worth

    So put an end to all our days
    As we fall from dizzying heights
    Letís burn our love in every way
    Blinded by the city of a thousand lights




    Submitted on 2005-03-17 18:23:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like this one because it seems like it shows how you feel. it shows that you want to know if they're really worth it. it is a really great song.
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by chaos_bite | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it needs to be a song and it would be a good one. Do you know anyone who could put music to this? Love does not always hurt, and when it hurts more than it is good - time to go. Your message is exactly on target.
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good poem. Especially since you manage to give it length without it sounding repetitive and managing to make it all rhyme.

    I found it lacked rythmn even with the rhyme making it sometimes sound awkward.

    Having said this I did enjoy reading it and found that you communicated the feelings involved well.
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by Aquamonet | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really cool, and it sounded like it could be the lyrics to a song. I love how the entire things flowed and the way you put the words.
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    50758

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry