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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Permissible Sinsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: drowning_queen
    Elite Ratio:    5.44 - 245/270/52
    Words: 288
    Class/Type: Prose/
    Total Views: 1251
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1555



    Description:
       Someone once told me fucking a priest is the closest you can get to experiencing the love of God... I asked if fucking a priestess was the same.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPermissible Sinsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You love it when he touches you. Need it, crave it. It’s better than anything. You don’t hate yourself when your legs are spread and he’s inside of you. There’s no room in your body for doubt or shame. He fills every cell with his greedy, wanton lust. His calloused hands and dirty nails paw at your skin, sully the milky white of your thighs. You need this. His gamy breath against your face, the linen of his robes scratching your hips as he thrusts into you. His meaty palm covers your mouth but it doesn’t need to. You won’t scream. You like this too much.

    The catch on his rosary breaks and the cool, dark beads splay across your heated stomach. They stick to your sweaty flesh as he thrusts harder, deeper. The metal of his jeweled crucifix bites at your hipbone, leaving pale red imprints of its lines and angles. You treasure these marks, brief as they may be. They remind you this is a holy act. You shouldn’t revel so in your own inconsequential pleasure. Your mind should be on God, undoubtedly as his mind is. He understands the gravity of this act, the importance. With every smear of sweat on your skin and spurt of cum within your belly you’re closer to God.

    And when he comes he bites into your shoulder to keep from crying out. He doesn’t have to— the church is dark and quiet, no one would hear. And while you dress, all white lace and polished shoes, he reminds you not to tell, that this is a secret. He doesn’t have to, the only person you’d ever tell is God, and he already knows— he watched.




    Submitted on 2005-03-17 18:35:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This piece contradicts itself on so many levels--it's taken a sort of erotic cliché (if such a thing exists), but twisted it. Beautifully written, excellent closing line. I think aside from 'Deconstructing,' this is by far your best work. Although many have probably told you this before, myself included, you could make a fortune writing for dirty magazines. Except that this is much higher quality than pulp fiction. Keep this up; you've found your niche. And I agree; there is a Nin-like tinge to this.

    later days,
    mel
    | Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]
      i reallly wish you would continue some of your stories. this is such an intense mixture of sexual fetish literature, like the one's with pictures. and highly philisophical and interpretable meaning within the descriptions. this reminds me of closer by NIN. for obvious reasons but how both you'rs and NIN's lyrics/poem seem to convey the opposite message at surface. a write in denial of itself almost. it's like a mystery.

    Remember
    perfection is our poison
    disease is a blessing
    we can use our illusions to explore deeper aspects of regular behavior.

    [censored] beautiful

    speechless past that
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]
      whew- i think i need a cold shower now... a very cold shower. that was fu<king hott! the fact that it was a priest made it that much hotter... makes me just want to go defile things... i'm very happy i got to read this- it made my day! no corrections needed! :) *md*
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
      hey cool another creepy priest poem
    wow is all I am left to say
    a sister with talent as great as my mind
    god i'm arrogant.
    Big Bill.
    | Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]
      damn, girl! you've got some talent! this was an awesome piece. i love how you mixed in religion and sin, sex and purity. this poem was written so boldly and bluntly, and i just love your in-your-face style! great job! keep up the writing! i'm so looking forward to reading more of your work.
    hugs and razorblades,
    ~*dark_and_dreary*~
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by dark_and_dreary | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh man! You've taken all that is holy and squirted all sorts of sin upon it...love it! There's some song I can't quite put my finger on that refers to this...I think it's from a musical...something about defrocking a priest. Oh it's Cy Coleman...City of Angels...anyway, I digress.

    This is great! you surpised me with the dirty nature of this one...and your take on the idea of de-sanctifying the holiest of vessels. I like how the priest comes off as some caged animal in rut. What perfect imagery as his rosary breaks...
    Cool,
    Marianne
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! Crazy cool! Certainly adds a new meaning to "confession." I definately think the idea of sex in the name of God is really original. The portrayal of this idea is spot on throughout the piece.
    The last line is the best.
    Hee hee...God is a peeping tom! Just kidding.
    Excellent idea. Great execution. I could almost seeing this as a narrative scene in a movie or a full length novel.
    Brad/Biff
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by 00nothing | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm so glad I found you. You write like I wish I could write. If it didn't seem excessive I would favorite this story in addition to "Settling" ... such a clever idea/premise, and I love how you slowly reveal exactly who the characters are. All while giving the most vivid images. I like how you think.
    Jessica
    | Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by parabola | [ Reply to This ]


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