[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sussurusdots

    Author: drowning_queen
    Elite Ratio:    5.44 - 245/270/52
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1090
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 617

       Inspired by the poetry of Margaret Atwood.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    This is the way it starts
    The way you move
    Not like the wind through the thick tree branches
    Not like my breath on your skin
    The weight of analysis like water or metal
    Your feet are leaded
    Your heart, your eyes
    You’ve planted yourself in cement
    In words and sentences
    I stick myself to your rationalizations
    I rip at my own absence of depth to see you
    You sink like boulders
    My blades of grass float above you
    I am shallow and wasted
    Lost in the firmament without you to ground me

    Submitted on 2005-03-17 18:52:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      thick, lead, cement, sink, boulders, ground - this is a heavy poem, lol. ^_^ seriously, though, your weighty words give the reader a sense of being crushed. it seems as if this "you" has hurt you by distancing herself or being ignorant towards you. this is a painful little poem; i can feel the longing and the absence so strongly through your words. nice styling and structure of the lines, too. great job! keep it up!
    hugs and mechanical tongues,
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by dark_and_dreary | [ Reply to This ]
      Hah another excellent one. I can't really say much that hasn't been said here, so all I can leave you with is a kind farewell and a bottle of pinot for your growing collection.
    Did I say that?
    Big Bill-
    | Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the stucture that you have made for this poem. It is so free and yet graphic. Great read. I might make it one of my favorites also, heh.
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by Peachpitt | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]