[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: To Longdots

    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 682
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 884

       rough draft
    please comment.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Longdots

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    I can't sleep
    3:00 O'clock in the morning
    I'm still thinking of you.
    I'm so weak with out your touch.

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    For you are my diamond

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    How could they doubt you?
    Never think about you
    Dont they know nothing is possible without you?

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    I wonder how I make it this far
    Because of you
    Im me
    So you're the real star

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    I shred blood for you, I would die for you
    I need to see you

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    Because I love you.

    Submitted on 2005-03-18 15:09:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know what i think of it i can seewhere your coming from, but i still don't understand. You need to work on your grammer and spelling.
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by sheltie | [ Reply to This ]
      its pretty good...i wouldn't repeat "its been to long i need to see you" so many times...but other than that it has a good flow and i really know where your coming from on this one...im going through it right now...i finally met a guy i think i can love...and he moved away to new york...we still talk every night...but i need to see his face...hearing his voice...isn't filling my need of love to be with him...were gonna meet up again...someday...i hope you can do the same
    | Posted on 2005-03-19 00:00:00 | by Krinchinian | [ Reply to This ]
      Kool, a little rough around the edges, double check your spelling, but over all, i liked it, i could almost feel your pain. I to am going through a seperation. it hurts. take care and keep writing, would like to read more.
    aka> illusions35904
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Dream written by closetpoet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]