Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To Longdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 702
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 884



    Description:
       rough draft
    please comment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Longdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    I can't sleep
    3:00 O'clock in the morning
    I'm still thinking of you.
    I'm so weak with out your touch.

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    For you are my diamond

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    How could they doubt you?
    Never think about you
    Donít they know nothing is possible without you?

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    I wonder how I make it this far
    Because of you
    Iím me
    So you're the real star

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    I shred blood for you, I would die for you
    I need to see you

    It's been to long
    I need to see you
    Because I love you.




    Submitted on 2005-03-18 15:09:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know what i think of it i can seewhere your coming from, but i still don't understand. You need to work on your grammer and spelling.
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by sheltie | [ Reply to This ]
      its pretty good...i wouldn't repeat "its been to long i need to see you" so many times...but other than that it has a good flow and i really know where your coming from on this one...im going through it right now...i finally met a guy i think i can love...and he moved away to new york...we still talk every night...but i need to see his face...hearing his voice...isn't filling my need of love to be with him...were gonna meet up again...someday...i hope you can do the same
    | Posted on 2005-03-19 00:00:00 | by Krinchinian | [ Reply to This ]
      Kool, a little rough around the edges, double check your spelling, but over all, i liked it, i could almost feel your pain. I to am going through a seperation. it hurts. take care and keep writing, would like to read more.
    deb
    aka> illusions35904
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    50851

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Bond written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Push written by JanePlane
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Giving written by jjd
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wavelength written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry