God, why am I in this place?
Why do I have 3 more hours to find my answers?
cause tonight the 3-way phone call is stopping by,
and I'm not ready to pick up...
I'm never ready.
I don't have the courage to lift it up and press talk,
what if no words flow through this mouth of mine?
I'll just be the secret on the 3rd end,
the 3rd wheel.
I've done nothing but sit here for the past 2 hours,
wondering when I'll hear another ring,
and then hesitating,
afraid it might come,
seeking for answers,
that lie behind the truth.
I didn't mean to hand her the message,
that hid many of the truths I had kept from her as time went on.
I was exploding in this small bubble,
but before I do, I wanna stop breathing.
I'll hold my breathe and count to ten,
and by the time I think,
my mind will go blurry,
and my world will go black,
and the stars will shine throught these fragile eyelids,
and are held so tightly shut.
But it's only what I'm thinking,
as I lift my arms and want to dig my nails in,
or slam my head right into this desk that sits in front of me.
I wanna scream so loud,
and wake everyone up,
maybe the world will scream with me,
so I won't feel so alone.
Someone please let the phone keep ringing,
so when the last ring comes I'll allready be gone,
let it ring until there is no life,
in the tiny body of mine,
for I was never there to begin with,
cause my sight brings no joy,
and my voice is empty.