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AAAAHHHH! OPEN EYES! SLAPPED EARS! THRU WORDS! DROP TEARS! I REAM EVERY SOUL WITH BROKEN DREAMS! SCREAM! sssshhhh.... PAIN! sssshhhh.... HATE! sssshhhh.... closed eyes...... covered ears.... thru silence breaks fear..... lay to rest your fiery rage..... for i bring upon you a calming gaze..... AAAAHHHH! FISTS RAISED! CLOUDS BREAK REVEALING MY RAGE! calm my child.... open yourself up.... DON'T TOUCH ME! I AM BUT A BASTARD CAUGHT IN YOUR TRAPPINGS! LIKE A WOLF IN SHEEPS WRAPPINGS! a wolf tail can be tucked.... close your eyes to all this fuss..... for rage and hate can not break this union we made.... SHE WINS AGIAN!.....my whispering maid..... |
Yet another awesome write. I myself am stuck, I have serious writer's block. I only wish I could write like you. Myabe you could give me some advice on some of my works? I would love to hear some of your thoughts on my work. If you don't have time, that's okay. Keep up the great work! Unicorn | Posted on 2005-04-14 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ] | I liked how you put in the caps and lowercase it added to the battle you write about. I guess just the title initself drew me in to read it (b/c my pin is Devils Angel) but when i started to read i couldn't stop soemthing about it just kept me going wanting to reach the bottom of the page. I got out of it that it was a battle within yourself betwwen good and bad and right and wrong. I loved the transition you used two extreams but you didn't over do it. Awesome work. It made me frustrated b/c i felt like i was the one going through the battle like it was real and not something i just came across and read. Keep it up! | hannah | Posted on 2005-03-19 00:00:00 | by Devils Angel | [ Reply to This ] | This was all in all, a bit confusing. Honestly I didn't like it all that much, but I liked the idea. The power play that you made was rather thought provoking and it makes you wonder if this is a struggle between the internal angels and demons of a human mind or of the beings fighting in their literal form. It was interesting to see how it comes out, but I feel like their isnt a very strong ending to this..."Thru", should also be changed to "through". | You know how to write, keep it up, J.C. Prescott | Posted on 2005-03-19 00:00:00 | by jcpdandalice | [ Reply to This ] | |