Transcendence by Transcendancing

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Submission Name: Transcendence dots

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Author:	Transcendancing
Elite Ratio:	5.13 - 365/214/35
Words:	80

Class/Type:	Poetry/Passion
Total Views:	579
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	563

Description:
Poerty inspired by the word it is titled for. A sudden fascination with the word led to its creation.

Transcendence dots

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Darkest hopeful wonder of, exquisite desire for
Outweighs by far the need to love.
Energy succumbs, infuses and surrounds
Potentials yet unfulfilled and ever addicted: yearning.
Tangled limbs, intertwined, inseparable,
Stars disrobe, naked ethereal essence
Their shimmering gowns falling down upon
Divine afterglow, now set ablaze
Blessed in secret kisses, tasting of sacred honeys
Lips, tongues, a soft moan, in searing passion
Bestow the lover’s communion.

Submitted on 2003-12-30 22:24:15 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I think this shows lots of potential....I also believe that some things are beyond description and it's then the job of the writer to at least set up the feeling that could launch the reader into understanding or seeing the poets vision but inside of themselves. The first sentence is a little awkward to read. There could be a case for saying "how pretty" but seeing this as a work of fiction beyond the readers reach...so my only suggestion would be to maybe blend in something down to earth or powerfully generic that the readers can empathize with....hard to explain...but it's the little personal details that people can relate to that compliment the places or feelings they wish they could tap into....good stuff as it is anyway
| Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  Stars disrobe, naked ethereal essence
Their shimmering gowns falling down upon
Divine afterglow, now set ablaze
Blessed in secret kisses, tasting of sacred honeys
Lips, tongues, a soft moan, in searing passion
Bestow the lover’s communion.

what a beautiful way to describe this communion! i am digging down deep into people's oldest work here, and i found this gem! you have a gorgeous way of describing passion! great job!
| Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  My imagination is going to be sore...I haven't had to use it in such a long time. It's refreshing. And the word choice was great
| Posted on 2003-12-31 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]
  This implys tons, deleivers little detail, and leaves me to fill in the rest. I love a poem that makes the mind wander.
| Posted on 2003-12-31 00:00:00 | by aghori | [ Reply to This ]
  We need more writers like you. Not many here writing about love and passion. Great style ;).
| Posted on 2003-12-30 00:00:00 | by Webmaster | [ Reply to This ]

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