The One by Gatita

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Submission Name: The One dots

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Author:	Gatita
ASL Info:	25/f/florida
Elite Ratio:	3.94 - 26/31/9
Words:	117

Class/Type:	Poetry/You left me
Total Views:	322
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	809

Description:

The One

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The one left behind
Put on this back burner
Just in case
Will be the one you wish
You put first

The one standing
In your shadow
The one you only love
In the dark
Will be the one
Who leaves you in the dark

This one
Will not settle for being settled for
Or ignore being ignored
This one
Will not be the one
For you anymore

The one you thought
You'd someday leave
Will be strong enough
To leave you

The one you never thought
Would be "the one"
Will be the one
That got away

...and the "one"
that got away
will be the "one"
you wanted to keep

Submitted on 2005-03-20 23:35:10 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Well really it isn't bad but i do think it needs more thought and more thought on word choice but really, that is the kind of person i am, Details! I would also add in a little more feeling. But all in all not bad at all.
| Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by Heather12 | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm a big fan of your style (lol, maybe because it reminds me of my own!). you have great use of alliteration, and there is a structural and grammatical redundance you seem to use that, in my opinion, adds focus to your words.
another good write. and i disagree with heather...details detract from poetic emotion...don't change a thing.
| Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice, I am hae been in this situation so I can relate Nice Job it flowed well and kept a solid subject you never got on a tangent about specific incidence I struggle with that sometimes. Nice Poem.
| Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
  Very deep poem, gives you a lot to think about. I felt like it was a story about different people, different cases that happen all the time. These are truths that we don't think about that much sometimes, because sometimes, maybe we feel like we're really sure of what we have or think, but sometimes people can react differently and surprise us, but we never really realized. Great poem, maybe needs help in the structure, but still, it's not a big deal, so it's good anyways!
| Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by April0414 | [ Reply to This ]
  I like it i thought it was AWESOME...i think im going to add it to my favorites...but i think you should add a little more detials too...
| Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by schemingdevil22 | [ Reply to This ]

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