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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Super Stardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: medicated
    ASL Info:    18
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 269/369/98
    Words: 270
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Depressed
    Total Views: 783
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1483



    Description:
       I think it's too full and that's my only problem i guess....comments, would be really really kool on this..enjoi


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSuper Stardots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can feel the warmth flowin off ya, A loveless
    rush, did it feel good when you were loved
    Well I can feel your mind wonder off
    You never really cared for anyone
    You never wanted us to go far
    but you love to feel like a fuckin super star
    and you want everyone to love you
    but your too blind to see that
    no one really does like I do

    And you left me here all alone
    but i guess I'll be fine
    Yeah I'll be alright
    and all the clowns could see me break
    but you were to far away
    to save me from me

    Well you were never there for me
    and i've changed so much now i can't see
    my face when i look into a mirror
    but you love to feel like a fuckin super star
    and you want everyone to love ya
    but then everyone left ya

    like you left me here all alone
    but i guess I'll be fine
    Yeah I'll be alright
    and all the clowns could see me break
    but you were to far away
    to save me from me

    you finally thought of me and now
    i've lost myself cuz i trusted you
    to heal me, but i put my love through all your shit
    and you still want me to bleed

    takin back, our past you sold
    nothing ever felt so cold and
    take back the lies you've told
    no one's ever made me feel this cold




    Submitted on 2005-03-21 08:35:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow Joey this was intense, I din't even know it was yours at first but oh my God this one was so good.So [censored] original, so damn awesome.
    Well I can feel your mind wonder off
    That line completely blew me away...wow.
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      As soon as I started reading this it was screaming LYRICS LYRICS LYRICS! I did enjoy this 'song' (not sure if it is yet). The topic is typically a little overused but certain parts made it stand out and be a little more original. My favorites...
    'and i've changed so much now i can't see
    my face when i look into a mirror"
    and...
    'and you want everyone to love you
    but your too blind to see that
    no one really does like I do'
    Awesome...this is going into my favorites.

    XOXO - Omni
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by omnipotent | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a very original peice. great job. in this line "to save me from me" i would change it to "save me from myself" instead of me, it just sounds better and flows better, to me anyways. i like the rhyme in the last stanza. i liked the last stanza all together actually except for one thing. the last line kinda throughs off the flow. i dunno if it is because it is just a litlle too long or because you used the word rhyming word cold agian, im not sure which one. im sorry if my last few comments have been nit picky but im tryin not to give only compliments like it says at the bottom of the page as one of the 12 things to think about when you're commenting. well anyways this was a great write. :)
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by _Joeysgirl_ | [ Reply to This ]


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