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    dots Submission Name: Flat On a Photographdots

    Author: omnipotent
    ASL Info:    17/F/Wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 82/63/23
    Words: 311
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 809
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1941

       Pissed off when I wrote this as usual.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlat On a Photographdots

    You always seem so real
    Lying flat on a photograph
    And I think I liked you better that way

    One glance
    And I’ve already melted
    Down to me,
    You’re looking down on me.
    But this will be the last time.
    Though it was already a next time,
    To the last time.
    I’m sorry I cared.
    I’m sorry I dared
    And I’m sorry I shared
    With you, every sweet piece of myself
    For now, as bitter as I taste,
    You will not take me back
    You will not take one more look
    At something I thought you lost
    But something of which
    You let go.
    Almost all too easily.
    When you said goodbye,
    You smiled
    And pretended to cry
    Just as you buried your head in your hands
    In an effort to hide
    But I knew very well
    Those tears you cried in vain
    Cried in shame, and didn’t say a word
    To redeem yourself.
    And you couldn’t utter a single phrase
    To apologize for never being there.
    For breaking every promise you owed me.

    But to this day, you can’t look me in the eyes
    And honestly say, you never thought about it.
    Never thought about the way you left.
    Lying your way through, just so you wouldn’t have to…
    Because you shouldn’t have to…
    No…you shouldn’t ever have to cry
    For the people you love.
    For the times when you chose to be
    You held my heart, fragile and cold,
    And cursed with oblivion,
    You washed your hands of the matter,
    You walked away from me…
    You walked away from us all,
    And in the end, nothing has changed…
    Head over heals in love….
    And if I dare open my eyes…
    For as long as it takes to realize
    That this was never right.

    Submitted on 2005-03-21 09:58:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow. that was intense. this person must have really pissed you off alot. guys are like that, yeah, they are. they piss me off too. not many of them are completely honest-they think lying is the only way to get what they want. I liked the stream of consciousness thing here, as if you were looking at his picture and thinking all this stuff but saying it to him at the same time. nice work here.
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was so long but it was awesome, the first part was the best...I liked how the emotion completely seeped out of this, made me feel the anger coming out. This was definately an original piece and I liked it alot.
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by PalmyNv | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good. I love the title, that's what drawed me in. The only problem I see is the lenght of the piece. In some places it seems kinda washed out. Maybe you could make it shorter. Just a suggestion...
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      First off, Nice title. and I agree with palmy, it does seem to lose its momentum. Imagery and word play will do really great in this poem. its good, but change some things around, and it could be great.
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]

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