That morning I discovered you
eating shredded wheat
with marshmellows;
I told you
I was not ready,
that I didn't want
what you had to give.
You got angry
and threw the cereal
in my face.
Every morning since then
I get out of bed
and wonder
what I said wrong,
as I sit down
to my breakfast of
shredded wheat
and marshmellows.
Whoa. This will be my very first piece going into my favorites straight away. Something about this piece just shocks me. It's got sadness, it's got longing, it's got simplicity, it's got love, it's got anger, it has remorse, it contains memory...and what's more, you were able to contain all those emotions into a simple format that is SO concise. I honestly don't know how you wrote this, but hats off to you a thousand times over. ~Piggs
I'm far from anything resembling a poet, but this is excellent stuff. The use of simplistic language and lack of those abstract multisyllabic words that many love to use make the scenario seem very real. Pretty scary stuff. Less is more, and you seem to know this fact very well. Again, since I'm the farthest thing from a poet, I can't give any actual worthwhile criticism, but thumbs up to you.
Submission Name: Morning
