this is an original piece on a well versed topic. unlike "in our news" this actually isnt something ive thought about. but now that you bring it up i am. it is truly sad how some people just take this one day to show their affection. youve sent out a message with the last few stanzas saying to cherish your love every day and its very well presented. "Get boxes of chocolate so you can get fatter" thats very funny and its a nice lightener on the sharp criticism in your first few stanzas. the stanza where you talk about St. Valentine is a nice use of the classic guilt trip. the only problem i found was the sixth stanza. your rhyme is very strained here (and you have a typo on special"). i can't think of a way to rhyme it without changing it a lot. but you could try something like "what makes this day special?/Who (or what) gives it its power?/..." or you might try to rhyme other with "lover" although its still a bit stretched. but thats just a small detail. other than that this is well thought out, structured, and written. you know the catholic church "coincidentally" put valentines day on the same day as the pagan feast of lupercal where, to put it bluntly, everyone joined in mass orgies. puts all the chocolate-flower-hearts thing into perspective. but oh well. good job and i constantly look forward to more.
Cute poem.. I like how you took a subject as overused as valentines and put an interesting twist on it.. I understand the feeling fo it as well.. Too many people put way too much of their hearts into a day, when the day isn't what is important.. Unfortunately, I am also one of those who puts too much stock in that day.. There were a couple of places where the rhyming seemed a little more forced than others, which in turn kinda tripped me up while I was reading it.. Overall good job though..
Submission Name: Valentine's
