"Don't try to kiss your way out of this with those blood red lips of yours"
...was good. A lot of people use certain words or phrases over and over in a poem to attempt to get a point across. In some poems it seems over done, in others, not done enough. In this poem, it's just about right.
I wasn't quite sure what to think this poem would be about after reading the title. It's a very simple poem with few words, but the effect was well felt. I think the use of short 2 line stanzas helped keep the simplicity. If the poem had been jumbled up into one long poem without breaks between the lines it wouldn't be the poem that it is.
This was very nice indeed. Definate shades of MCR there and maybe some others of note, but the title and words gave me a definate emo feel, which is always cool. Not much else to say really, very simple, easily comprehendable, a solid write. Nice work!
wow...i totally thought this was gonna be about the boston red sox or something...damn baseball...figure it out, huh? well im not too good with that type of stuff-tho i do like it, a lot...nice job, my friend.