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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Can't You Just See?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EL
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 272/189/52
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 886
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 867



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCan't You Just See?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why can't you see,
    Just see the truth?
    I don't love you,
    Don't need you.
    You have brought me down,
    Brought me down to many times.
    Now it is my time,
    Now it is my chance,
    My turn to push you away,
    to turn you down.

    Why can't you see,
    Just see the truth?
    I don't want you,
    Not here, not now,not ever.
    I gave you all of me,
    All of my heart, my love.
    You shoved it all in my face,
    Threw it all back at.

    Why can't see,
    Just see the truth?
    I can forgive,
    But I can't forget,
    All that you have done to me.
    I refuse to cry,
    Refuse to listen to your lies.
    No more wasting my time on you.
    Here it goes,
    Here is my final good-bye.




    Submitted on 2005-03-21 17:06:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I disagree. I think it is highly original. Given the topic, and level of emotion, the structure to this piece is excellent. The first two lines of each verse provides the 'hook'.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2007-07-04 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very nice poem, I really like how your anger toward this person was shown. I really don't know what else to say, I just hope this person stops hurting you.
    Why can't see,
    Here I think you meant to say: Why can't you see. That's really the only mistake/error I say.
    Keep up the good work.

    Rain
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, i like this quite a bit, i can relate to it quite a bit, i try to help people, i try to love people, but they just throw it back at you, and it hurts, so you do the same, throw it back at em, say dont expect me to cry for you... and then ther the ones hurting because of anothers actions. Well that what im getting atleast... i dont know if im corect... but i try. keep it up buddie.
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by _dana_ | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought, that while this has some interesting lines, overall, it was rather conventional and unoriginal.
    please forgive my bluntness, and keep writing!
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by marigold | [ Reply to This ]


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