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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bloodydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rytrsbloc
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 43/49/14
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 242
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 425



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBloodydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rotting ruby bits
    Caked between your teeth
    Your persistent silly smile
    So dim and daft but so still
    Succumbing to every plight
    Your heart rocks and moans with every step
    But they see not the fickle-ty
    They see not the blood
    They only see the white lace adorning it
    I can smell you
    Your petty rotten stench
    I pity you





    Submitted on 2005-03-22 13:38:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I can almost hear this being read at a poetry slam, the words just being spit out like they taste bad. The only part I question is your use of the word silly in the third line. It just seems less harsh than the rest of the write. I enjoy it when I can FEEL the emotion of the writer... and you certainly did that with this piece.
    | Posted on 2005-04-01 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so thick with imagery and strong worded images...its really great to find something like this from time to time.

    you write as if you dont flinch, this shows, im not sure why others havent been commenting on this piece yet, i think that it is strong and uncompromisingly to the point...keep it up
    ellisa
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by ellisa | [ Reply to This ]



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