There are only so many words for 'clever' but what is the point in naming them all? Clever suits this piece in description just fine. Curiosity and the cat aside, this certainly reflects upon the temptation of we humans and the disappointment and peril that usually follows. The line breaks you chose are magnificently chosen and makes the piece that much more enjoyable.
It made me cringe, but I'm guessing this was your intention. Some people go for that, I don't but that doesn't make it a bad poem. This was very well written and made sense and the flow was near perfect as was the concept and contrast of a flower and its thorns. Good job.
I agree with most the comments already posted ...This was a good peice ...expecially if you were 14 when writing it ...Very deep ...Strong ...and painful ...i love it ...Good job and Blessed Be
iman thas good if u rote it 2 years ago damn thas good 4 like a 13 year old years ago its not awkwardly written its smashingly grimmafied yeah i like the end where u say save me this poem is perfectly grimmafiedly awsome R.I.P Darkness of the Grim Draco
This is really well written. . With an interesting format and good flow. Original because I've never read this topic in quite this way before. As I read this I get the feeling of Hurt.. and needing someone to save you from that hurt.. to share the pain with you as in this line.. "Drink the blood, with me.".
It's not as bad as you make it out to be, infact I like it, I really like this, it's like, a unique way of calling out for help.Not many of us can do that.I especailly liked the 1st stanza. Great Write cami
A bit awkward, but none the less it's a good write. I like the formate...or whatever it's called. I like the 'drink the blood with me' deliciously twisted.
i like this poem.. its very good for how young you were when you wrote it. thorns, blood, drinking blood, save me... thats content i seem to like to often...hehe.. i like the way it reads and looks also. will you please go read the poem i wrote called "this ghost II". i think you will like it. take care and thanks for the comment on my "mr brittle bones + hippie girl" it was funny... =p
Submission Name: Thorned
