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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dont ever leavedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: schemingdevil22
    ASL Info:    17/female/lawrenceburg
    Elite Ratio:    1.98 - 26/32/25
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 288
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 456



    Description:
       I wrote this for my boyfriend because he wrote 'remember when' for/about me.....if you wanna read it his name on this site is the storyteller...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDont ever leavedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The stars must cry at night
    because they dont seem near as bright
    as the fire I see in your eyes
    the fire that keeps me alive
    so youve got to promise me
    that you will never leave
    cuz theres so much that I would miss
    like the passionate way you kiss
    and no one else is near as good
    at makin me feel understood
    and baby with that one goodbye
    all the love I have would die




    Submitted on 2005-03-23 11:19:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this poem, it's very clear. I like the end a lot, it's well said. I am bad at this negative comment thing but the webiste keeps telling me to not only compliment... hmm well what bad can I say? There is a slight rhythm disfunction in the middle but it still goes well I think maybe a slight word change to mix up the syllables, I cn't think of much bad to say I liek it, good job!
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good, the whole thing flowed together nicely and I liked how you put the entire thing together. Great job and I hope to read more someday
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      i feal that you should have ether rymed every line or not at all but it was a good poem espeacilly the line baby with that one goodbye all the love I have would die it shows you true fealings
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by urweird310 | [ Reply to This ]
      this has a lot of meaning to you i see but it really is a great love poem and it is sweet that your boy friend was the first to comment on it
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by palin_white | [ Reply to This ]
      great love poem, i can really feel the love behind each one of these words. this just really put a smile on my face, great write.
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by bkj43 | [ Reply to This ]
      Baby, I love you. *blushes a [censored]load* lol...*giggles a [censored]load* this is so hardcore awesome, not to mention it has a special meaning to me.:D
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by the_storyteller | [ Reply to This ]



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