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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Eyes Wide Shutdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SammySueYou
    ASL Info:    23/f/nm
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 90/78/30
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1136



    Description:
       Ok so I was sitting in my livingroom listening to some music and I got inspired to write.....I do not know why it just hit me. So here is my newest poem. Its kind of psychotic and weird so don't judge me as a weirdo lol......here it is


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEyes Wide Shutdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Crimson blisters on my fingers,
    pains evidence only lingers.
    Touching tears that slip off my cheeks,
    acidic dreaming vividly leaks.
    Dye my soul a brighter black,
    Screaming monsters running off my back.
    Sewing up what I have come to be,
    Iím a patched creation that can no longer see.
    Blood tasting metallic like a nail,
    rainbows turn black after removing the veil.
    Angelic faces grow horns of sharp,
    laughing fiendishly as they play their harp.
    Deafening screams release from the lips,
    as the skin on a smile viscously rips.
    Eyes widen at the site of a fetus jar,
    demons making dirty money as they wait in the tar.
    As I look down I see my face,
    my other side comes out and I start to pace.
    Running up the stairs where there isnít a door,
    a white wall with nothing more.
    My head started spinning as I thought this was hell,
    everything clouded out by an annoying bell.
    Another set of eyes open and Iím in my room,
    it was just another dream and it wasnít my doom.





    Submitted on 2005-03-23 12:44:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      Pretty good. I like the crazy part maybe cuz I think i might be but it is a good write and I hope to read more from you.

    ria
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by ria_pixie | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree, very crazy...but still enjoyable. My only suggestion as far as changes go, would be the title. It's the exact same title as the Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman movie. Unless of course you already know this and wanted people to refer back to the movie.
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by I_Bleed_Ink | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very descriptive piece, showing lots of your emotions... find poems a gud way to express these feelings and i think that you captured the deepness well. i enjoyed readin this :)
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by clowns in my sleep | [ Reply to This ]
      thanx for your comments on fools overture have you figured out only posting once. this was a crasy write you posted but in a good way lots of emotions running back and forth good write and a good read
    thanx again
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      woah kinda depressing but good i really liked the words, it kinda reminded me of a home made doll that has different paches of cloth for the skin i really liked i though, very deep
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by kLaDeeDa | [ Reply to This ]
      hey that was a really good and deep poem i really liked the part when you said"I'm a patched creation that can no longer see" and "Dye my soul a brighter black"
    hey if you ever wanna talk look me up
    gothic_witch
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by gothic_witch | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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