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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: fateful fightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: catie jo
    Elite Ratio:    2.17 - 48/65/22
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 334
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 563



    Description:
       please excuse the bad grammer (i failed english)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfateful fightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    sitting in my bedroom,
    right around the break of day,
    i saw his fist meet up with her,
    i tried to look away,
    she stummbled tords the kitchen door,
    he spat upon her face,
    and i knew inside my tatterd heart,
    i had to leave this place,
    so i saved my change beneith my bed,
    until i had enough to spend,
    i waited till the time was right,,
    then snuck out some time late at night,
    i crept in to her bedroom door,
    we ran,
    we ran,
    til couldnt run any more.




    Submitted on 2005-03-23 15:13:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Good write, you expressed yourself well. It definitely gave me chills... I like it a lot, and who needs english class anyway? lol good luck man, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it , and i can relate...although in my case he isnt as phsically abusive as he used to be...plus the fact that i know that my mother wouldnt leave
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by schemingdevil22 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so good...im speechless about this..its one of the best i'v read so far.the wording was good...very clear...i loved your ending most of all.it was a sweet,brave, and heroic thing to have done.
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by black_joker1292 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good and really sad at the same time. The onlything wrong with it I can see is that some of the words aren't spelled right. Other then that it's perfect
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      ...um...*wipes imaginary tear* this is absolutely awesome...Im serious-I know the whole abusive guy scene-my dad, for an example, so I can relate to this in a way. Man, the tear might not be imaginary anymore...
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by the_storyteller | [ Reply to This ]
      Really good man ive felt like that way more than i should but neways check your spelling but otherwise its a great write and really sad but im adding it
    Star
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by Star | [ Reply to This ]



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