Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Ex,My Enemydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: withouthope
    ASL Info:    17 female
    Elite Ratio:    3.45 - 138/183/52
    Words: 190
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 287
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1213



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Ex,My Enemydots
    -------------------------------------------


    she was your first, and you hers
    and who knows, maybe you'll be mine
    and there's nothing I can do except
    just tell you that's it's fine

    but it's secretly kills my heart within
    that she has a part of you i can never have
    sometimes i wonder why you would want
    to travel down my inexperienced path

    i don't want you to feel guilty
    that you shared yourself with her
    I don't want to seem the type
    that's paranoid and unsure

    but secretly it hurts me
    but I can't bare to show it
    and secretly I keep my thoughts to myself
    and you will never know it

    sometimes when we're together
    I see her at a glance
    and I pray to God to turn back time
    and give me another chance

    I have nothing against this girl
    I know she's your past and amazing
    but I can't control my heart
    and stop it's ranting, and it's raving

    So I go on with my life with you
    but my heart silently screams,
    baby you will never know
    your ex is my worst enemy




    Submitted on 2005-03-24 09:14:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A-freaking-Men to this one! Wow..I feel like you read my mind with this one! My boyfriend...of 3 years...was my first boyfriend ever...and he was QUITE experienced when we got together...and that ex ur talking about in this one...was my best friend. But I mean..I've been with him for 3 years now and we are totally and completely in love..but every girl he's ever been with just...it kills me to think about. Absolutely kills me. I don't want to be paranoid either..but..sometimes ya just can't help it! I loved ur poem! Great job! ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      A great love poem using rhyme or not is my quesion! The only thing wrong with this creatively written poetry is the tempo of how it reads. With a few gentle adjustments (poems don't have to rhyme) you will a great piece! ~always with love Cheryl~
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...this really tugged at my emotions and almost made me cry...i dont like to cry. i loved this. you caught so much emotion in it and i am almost familiar word for word in this poem with everything that i feel about my boyfriends past girlfriend. i admire you for being able to word it so deeply and strongly-something that i cant do. i use my poetry to get out my emotions but they are always short petty sentences that rhyme. i cant get past my own barrier to get it out like this but hell...since you've done it already i think ill just add it to my favs...wow again.
    ~sweet
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by sweet-fire | [ Reply to This ]
      Very intersteing subject here. You have a great subject here. I do understand that you were pouring out feelings but there is so much more you can do with this. The flow nods off from time to time but it is still a nice piece. Some rhymes seem forced. Let it flow. I remember I was at this stage of writing once concerning forcing rhymes. But just let it flow and you'll see the difference. Despite the constructive criticism, I still enjoyed the write.

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      Good job on this...I think alot of people, no matter how much confidence they ooze, have felt this way or are feeling this way ...It is really hard to fight with that ...Knowing someone else has been told the things they tell you ...someone else had a peice of their heart that possibly you can never have now because it's tainted ...I wish i knew how to overcome that kind of thing...but im the jealous type ...*Sob* ....Anyway ..I enjoyed reading this ...It was a good topic to choose and you wrote it in a no nonesense kinda way ...So well done
    | Posted on 2005-03-25 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.