Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: There...but notdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ForsakenAngel
    ASL Info:    19/F/Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    6.37 - 147/73/18
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 561



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThere...but notdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I see a person,
    standing in my view.
    Who is this person?
    Who am I???

    I hear words,
    but they are faint.
    Then again the figure comes...
    Who are you?
    Why are you here??
    Say something!!!

    The figure starts to slowly fade,
    I run towards it...
    The figure is me, but...
    How?!?!

    I am the one fading from view.
    Why don't people see me?
    To them I am nobody.
    I do not belong.
    Someone who is there...
    but not!!!




    Submitted on 2005-03-24 15:15:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is alright...pretty typical though, don't take this the wrong way windy, you know I love you!, but lemme offer you some advice,

    do sumthing that people don't expect of you say things ahead of your time, I read the comments and they all mentioned things bout your age, and how its typical for a person your age to feel that type of emotion...I""m not sayin don't feel this emotion...because that would be hard to change...but you should take the emotion and look at it from every perspective, then write...then you can write in different ways, You feel me?

    once again, please don't take it that I don't like your writing, I'm juss trying to help you to write "ahead of your time", I'm curious to see, wwhat your interpretation is of that through your writing...however I don't fully expect you to take my advice. so its alright of you choose not to.

    deuce up and much luv
    Jsells
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]
      hey it good i dont really understand it all but i know what you mean by it you wish people would see you for who you are i hope im right and lets try to be friends for her it will end up killing me but lets try and way ok

    palin
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by palin_white | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay I understand this, especially at your age, it makes perfect sense in how you are treated as a young person it's discriminatory in the truest sense of the word, or maybe it's just about your family not paying attention to you, or maybe your friends, or people at school. None of my concern, my job is to comment on your piece. Good job. Very emotional and true, honest. -sin
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by sinmore | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    51591

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry