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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bad News(The Bottle is Empty)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 873
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 477



    Description:
       I don't know what this is...not real sure if it will make and sense to anyone.Not real worried about it either though.Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBad News(The Bottle is Empty)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    THis bottle is empty
    did I make it this way
    these pills have been in my system
    and I guess I am a little loopy today

    this pack is empty
    I know this is not from me
    I hate the fucking smoke
    but then again I think that it hates me

    my head is corrupted
    full of silly thoughts that make me think of you
    I hate to tell you that this bottle is empty
    but I love being the barrier of bad news




    Submitted on 2005-03-24 15:45:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      huh. "I hate the smoke and i think it hates me." That's a good line. I'd start from there, and rewrite this. or make another one with that line. That's a good line.
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by WD20x2 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting, jumping from one thing to another, but yet they seem all related. Good job. Oh fix the first line.

    Rain
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this piece a lot. i feel it can be compared to a lot of things or taken literally. weve all felt that way once on a while. it reminds me of those mornings where you wake up and go...holy [censored] what happened.
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by NeonOrangePrize | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cool. Mesa loves the last two lines like Karios.

    I hate to tell you that this bottle is empty
    but I love being the barrier of bad news

    Contradicting, love it, awesome write, ect. Keep it up.

    Blessed Be!
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]
      Omg, suprisingly I loved this, specially this line "I hate to tell you that this bottle is empty
    but I love being the barrier of bad news" Well those two lines I guess. It's something that I would say, for sure.
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by Karios | [ Reply to This ]
      good job. I like it a lot. Is it saying that you quit taking the pills and that you hate to tell the person who helped you start taking them that you're no longer doing them? If so that's always a good thing. Because it's always bad news to someone who got you started that you quit.
    | Posted on 2005-03-25 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]


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