Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Brain stormdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Gothik
    Elite Ratio:    3.35 - 94/133/31
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1137
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 735



    Description:
       This one is an hard one, many people won't understand it, but it explain the storm of emotion in my head. Feel free to say whatever you like about it. I won't take it personal


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBrain stormdots
    -------------------------------------------


    One last breath of hope
    One last star in the sky
    One last word to say
    One last time to cry

    I'm walking trought the darkness
    With nothing else but screems in mind
    This alley is the toughest
    But I am gonna go through

    Alone we are all blind
    But together we are strong
    And whenever I'm in a bind
    A frind is coming along

    I am hanging over a cliff
    On top of a city
    Standing in the mist
    Falling in a dream

    My minds going crazy
    While I'm in my extacy
    But when alone
    I fell down

    Falling to sleep
    Slipping deap
    I feel like creep




    Submitted on 2005-03-24 16:17:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      He he he *Rubs hands together* Wonderful wonderful! I really liked this. Inner turmoil...how fun it is. Dark, but beautiful. Friends do have that inate ability to show up just when you need them. He he he. I love poems about the mind. It can be so utterly confusing, it is my favorite subject. And I really really liked this...I actually think I am going to add this to my favorites...Mmm...I wish I had read this sooner, I feel like a terrible person, I am just now reading the majority of your poems. YOU SHOULD HATE ME!...but I hope you don't...'cause I like you!

    *Is now paranoid that you hate her...is starting to sound like Aki, lol*

    Bon
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah I fell the same way sometimes
    But I try to hold on myself and just cry
    when the pain penetrated the inmost of my mind
    I hurry to my kitchen and eat my home-made applepie
    Want some?

    < never let your emotions drown you when you know you can easily swim your way out. >
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by mr.mystery | [ Reply to This ]
      i know it's picky, but check your spelling. too many errors take away from enjoying the thought. i think this is an instance when you don't want to write the poem in first person. i can sense your earnest desire to convey your thoughts to the reader, just try to tighten up some of the thoughts so its easier for him/her.
    keep crafting it.
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by closetpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      One last breath of hope
    One last star in the sky
    One last word to say
    One last time to cry

    This is my favorite part of this poem. There is always one last time for everything, maybe even more than one more, but we never really see it.
    This is a wonderful write, and I'm not just saying that. You are so talented, I'm a tad jealous.
    Good job!

    Your loving friend,
    Rain
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good, but check your spelling it though me off couble times other than that it really good. Don't change a thing. hope to here from you.
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good, but check your spelling it though me off couble times other than that it really good. Don't change a thing. hope to here from you.
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    51604

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry