Description: This one is an hard one, many people won't understand it, but it explain the storm of emotion in my head. Feel free to say whatever you like about it. I won't take it personal
He he he *Rubs hands together* Wonderful wonderful! I really liked this. Inner turmoil...how fun it is. Dark, but beautiful. Friends do have that inate ability to show up just when you need them. He he he. I love poems about the mind. It can be so utterly confusing, it is my favorite subject. And I really really liked this...I actually think I am going to add this to my favorites...Mmm...I wish I had read this sooner, I feel like a terrible person, I am just now reading the majority of your poems. YOU SHOULD HATE ME!...but I hope you don't...'cause I like you!
*Is now paranoid that you hate her...is starting to sound like Aki, lol*
Yeah I fell the same way sometimes But I try to hold on myself and just cry when the pain penetrated the inmost of my mind I hurry to my kitchen and eat my home-made applepie Want some?
< never let your emotions drown you when you know you can easily swim your way out. >
i know it's picky, but check your spelling. too many errors take away from enjoying the thought. i think this is an instance when you don't want to write the poem in first person. i can sense your earnest desire to convey your thoughts to the reader, just try to tighten up some of the thoughts so its easier for him/her. keep crafting it.
One last breath of hope One last star in the sky One last word to say One last time to cry
This is my favorite part of this poem. There is always one last time for everything, maybe even more than one more, but we never really see it. This is a wonderful write, and I'm not just saying that. You are so talented, I'm a tad jealous. Good job!
Submission Name: Brain storm
Bon