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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Ransomdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Joybell
    ASL Info:    22/F/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 101/94/56
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 743
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 712



    Description:
       Please tell me what you think,but don't be to mean for I know this is not my best :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Ransomdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Slowly I raise my sword, take a deep breath and charge into battle.

    Creeping up they lie in wait, trying to taste human flesh. Striving on and killing, I'm fighting this battle..but am I winning?

    Dragging me down, I've fallen for the last time. The blood spills all around, he looks down on me and raising his spear I can hear him cry.

    He goes to plunge, then the stranger comes.
    He throws his body on top of me.
    The spear whistles through the air,
    I can hear it tear flesh.

    The stranger goes limp,but the demon disappears I see the tears running down his face..and suddenly I realize..he meant to take my place.




    Submitted on 2005-03-24 17:10:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is pretty good, kinda like a story in semi poem form. The whole thing seemed pretty well planned out and the flow was a bit choppy but it fit in with the rest of it.
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      omg that was great
    but i think u kinda rushed the last line
    the second 2 the last stanza
    the words r ritten perfectly luv that part
    its like a story
    if this isnt one of ur best i think ill read the others cuz this was gooood
    great rite
    rip
    Darkness of the Grim Draco
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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