Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fatal Nightmaresdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: necrotic
    ASL Info:    18/f/New York City, Baby!
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 198/94/33
    Words: 1659
    Class/Type: Story/Dark
    Total Views: 395
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 9168



    Description:
       THERE ARE SOME MISTAKES... AND MAYBE SOME LINES THAT DONT MAKE SENSSE, BUT PLEASE READ THIS ALL.... I THINK ITS ACTUALLY VERY GOOD.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFatal Nightmaresdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Imagine yourself lying in bed just before sleep. Your eyes still wide open and not even tempted to close. You lay there, without moving, and only thinking of the greatest things. Whatever it may be, it makes you smile softly and close your eyes. You are finally ready to escape in a deep slumber...

    Your mind drifts off into a faraway, dark place. Your body is moving up and down as you breath ever so softly, you feel like you are in some kind of peaceful heaven. Your smile has not melted from your face for the past thoughts have been stained into your mind.

    -Your feet twitch as you imagine yourself walking through a deep tunnel. All the light that guides you is a small fairy that constantly floats above your shoulder. You lead the way, tilting your head forward and looking slightly ahead to see what the adventure brings next. You decide to sit and rest, the fairy sleeps on your shoulder, dimming the light that she gives you. You are left sitting in the dark of an unfamiliar cave, with nothing but rocks that surround you, or so you thought...

    You are now breathing heavy. Your body is twitching more like a dead animal just hit on the road. You toss the blankets off of you, your body is drenched in sweat and tears. You clutch at your skin as if something were trying to eat you alive. It happens for seconds turned into minutes. And then you just stop...

    -The sand squeezes against your toes as you walk slowly across the beach, gazing out into the ocean and watching the sunset, more beautiful than any other evening before. Your house sits atop a small hill, facing the never ending ocean. Your dog barks for you as you walk towards the front door, which you notice is standing cracked. You remember locking the door just before heading to the beach. Your face folds together and makes a confusing look. The lights are flickering as you place your hand on the doorknob, scared to open. You feel as if someone- or something- is inside there that you didn't let in. You hear it grunt and moan in pain as it rustles around papers and climbs over furnature. You hear loud bangs and things break as you push the door open slowly. Bloody footprints lead your eyes up to it, the thing that haunted your last ngihtmare, that killed the tiny fairy and tried to kill you...

    You leap of the bed and run towards the wall, half awake, screaming, sweating, and crying. Your eyes are burnt with blindness as this... thing... haunts your soul. Your afraid to fall back to sleep, as you need to. You sit back in the corner and turn the light on, but in time your eyes grow too weak and heavy to stay open...

    -You and your love are staying the night at a hotel surrounded by a bad neighborhood. You walk into the bathroom and prepare for a most romantic evening, including condlelight dinner, soft music, and sweet kisses. Your in your best outfit, ready for the night that awaits you and your only love of many years. As you check for misplacements of your outfit in the mirror you hear screaming in the other room. You feel as if it has happened before. It killed the small fairy, went after your house, and is now going for the love of your life. The screams of death linger into the bathroom, and as they dull tears creep down your cheeks. You are unable to move, frozen within this nightmare that seems so much like reality. In the foggy mirror you see the door behind you push open. Rotted fingers with nails like razorblades clutch onto the edge just above the door knob. Your scared, thinking that it might actually kill you this time. His glowing eyes peek through the dark crack, giving you more of an idea on what he looks like. His breathing was almost fatal, and the stench sickened your stomach. A knot formed in your throat as your covered your nose, still crying and trying to stare at his blood covered flesh that looked as if it were rotting on him for decades upon decades.

    You awake with a jump, trying to remember falling asleep and questioning the nightmare. Was is just a single harmless nightmare? Was it real? You didn't know, so you stayed hidden away in the corner, the light shining brightly on you. You are unable to sleep this time, uncomfertable images keep reoccuring in your half-lost mind.

    The sun seemed to be hiding for a lifetime as you wait until morning. Your patience drained as your eyes once again grew heavy and weak. You fought until your whole body colapsed, and the nightmare sucked you into a world you could'nt ecscape from.

    -The room was dark, only lit by a single blue nightlight. Stuffed toys and doll babies lay around on the floor, lined up perfectly according to size and favoritism. A small bed with a big blanket sits in the middle of the room. Sleepy sounds creep towards you as you walk closer. Slowly, your eyes move around and the blue light fades away. With your last glimpse of sight you see a small girl laying peacefully in her bed, not stirring, and only breathing heavy as if she were dreaming about something wonderful. The light flickered, as if the fairy in your past nightmare were trapped inside the circular shaped plastic. Curious to see, you bent down towards it and look closely. You pushed away the toys and dolls, and sitting with your knees under your body. You pulled the plastic off quietly and turned it over, a little mingled body lay helplessly in the curves of blue plastic, fading in and out and so close to death. He wings were torn and her breathing slowly fading. You stroked her hair with your finger, and let her melt into peace. You remained quiet as you sat up, and walked through the childs door and into the what looked like a living room. You looked around, and remember it from your other nightmare, furniture and papers were turned over and spread around, the muffled sound of a dog barking seeped through the broken walls.
    Grunts and moans of pain haunted your mind as you remembered back to your nightmare. You heard a sound from the back room where the child sleeps, something as if she was waking from a deep slumber. You walked in, glancing out the window to the ocean, it was the sunset you remember, that beautiful sunset that you never wanted to stop looking at. You saw her moving, calmly without a noise. You stared at her, watching her every move. She watched you back, never taking her eyes off of you. She had pretty blue eyes, and light brown hair, only covered in a thin white nightgown. "Hello?" Your voice seemed to echo as if you were back in the cave. She didn't anwser you, like she didn't understand. "Are you shy?" You asked her with a smile. Things grew dark once again, as if someone put a blanket over the sunset, trying to sufficate and bury it. The ocean turned to angry waves, and you once again heard the movie around in the living room, like the monster were back. "Come with me." You insisted to the little girl. But she did not move, her nightgown became drenched in blood, like it were dripping from the ceiling. A low growling scream exited her throat after opening her mouth wide. She gripped the blankets and tossed them around, the fairy flickered blue light, once again. You looked up at the ceiling and saw the familiar red eyes and rotted skin. He let loose from the ceiling, falling down on the little girl and leaving a bloody stain on the white paint. His teeth were long and sharp, ready to bite anyone who threatens him. The fairy died a most painful death, and the dog whined from outside as crashing waves hit the beach. The load crashing grew worse, and as this monster dug into the helpless child, your knees weakened, for you are that child, living a seperate life lead by none other than Satan. The only demon that escape into your mind, letting you fall into slumber more than you should. Your soul is a little child, sleeping deep in a house of evil. As screams of death entered the room, canles filled the room, your love walks in and holds a wine glass, speaking to you, but you do not listen. He is a rotting corpse, a walking zombie brought from the dead, forced in his grave and then dug up again to join the never ending nightmares deep within your demonic mind. The stench made you sick once again while you watched your lost love pour blood from a wine bottle into a glass that seemed to never get full, you stare at the monster as he sucks the blood of his victim, the glass grew full when he became full. You looked down, and noticed holes in your body from where he dug at you, and your love watched as you fell to the floor, all the sounds grew deeper and your vision faded. Your last breathe consisted of smells from the dead and rotted.

    You lay there against the wall. The sun is finally unhiden, and you don't awake. Satan grasps his victims, and never shows himself until he knows he has you. The weak is what he wants, and you fell asleep... you didn't fight like you should have, and you didn't save that little girl deep with the house of a fatal nightmare.




    Submitted on 2005-03-26 07:18:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It was bit long and spooky but it was good. I liked it despite its spookyness. It sounds like nightmares I have had before where I can't excape though I didn't die. I did spot a few grammatic errors but we all make mistakes so don't worry about. :D


    Don't let the boogie monster bite, Jessica
    | Posted on 2006-05-14 00:00:00 | by jslbabygirl101 | [ Reply to This ]
      I dont get it, there are like 117 views on this story and almost no comments, I dont know wat the f.uck is up wit these ppl. This story was amazing, so brilliant. It seems as if all your poems are kinda stories, but here you just tried to make a story and did one hell of a job, yah it was long but if ppl take the time to read it, they will really enjoy it. I'm a big fan of horror stories but most stories the ppl say are "horror" are really stupid and think that gore=horror. With this story you actually made it creepy and barely used any gore, you relied more on atmosphere and terror and it worked very well. Now its gonna be kinda hard for me to go to sleep at night, lol. Its really hard to critique stories cause you can't point out specific lines, but i really liked the way you would interrupt the story to bring in other nightmares like the dying fairy or the beachhouse, at first i was like wat the hell, but then i actually enjoyed it. There are some sentences that kinda sound a little "childish" like this one

    "Your face folds together and makes a confusing look"

    I think it would have been better if you said

    "Your face folds together into a confusing look" or instead of folds together use contort. there are a few more lines like that, but nothing too serious. I dont know if i can point out a good sentence because except for a few sentences, the whole damn thing is good and i just cant choose one sentence. This was by far one of the best horror stories that i've read in awhile, its better than most of the ones that i read in books that are done by professional writers. This story was f.ucking awesome. One of my favorites.

    Peace
    | Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      This was to long for me to read but what I did read I liked. I will try to read the rest some other time. This sounds like a story that could continue if you wanted it to. Other than that keep up the great work.
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]
      well...that was long...but the time i took to read it was well worth it...that is a very good story...when i read it i could imagine everyting that was going on...and feeling everything that the person was feeling...this story was "scary"...i like it a lot...i don't know what else to say...it was very good and was "scary"... i like that...great work
    | Posted on 2005-03-26 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.