Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The way to kill yourselfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 2821
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 463



    Description:
       Please comment and tell me how you feel about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe way to kill yourselfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What do you do when you want to die?
    You grab the knife
    you don't cry
    you clinch your fist and let your blood run down to your wrist.
    You slit your wrist very deep multiple times.
    You hide in the bath tub and let the blood run down your wrist and then the blood goes down the drain.
    Make sure you have no regrets
    because tomorrow you might not wake up.
    This is what you do when you want to die.




    Submitted on 2005-03-26 20:37:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      that was some really deep stuff. i like it though.it impressed me because i normally dont like short poems but thisone i think if it was long then it wuld take away fom the idea of suicide being quick.so good job
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by endmypain | [ Reply to This ]
      that was some really deep stuff. i like it though.it impressed me because i normally dont like short poems but thisone i think if it was long then it wuld take away fom the idea of suicide being quick.so good job
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by endmypain | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved it.
    You grab the knife
    you don't cry
    That really hit home for me. No one really understands about why I cut or whatever and so I am glad that there are poems about it. I made a wise choice adding this poem to my favorites! Thanx!
    ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by fallenpopcorn10 | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem is really short and to me it feels like it could be at least a little longer, it seems to rhymth in a really odd way. death is an obbsession we all have.
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      im not sure if i like this... its too short doesnt have much flow and it doesnt connect. there are some good ideas behind it though so maybe you could try again
    | Posted on 2005-04-01 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the beginning a lot better than the end. It was kinda repetitive though. Towards the end i mean. maybe u should go back and revise it. :)
    ~LeAnna~
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      im gonna add it as a favorite! i really like it... ive never thought about killing my self and etc but i love this.. wow! wonderful job man! seriously! wonderful!
    | Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by anita_89 | [ Reply to This ]
      damn that is some deep [censored]... that is very true though. I hope you are not considering this because that would be the waste of a very talented writer, you just explained a very big, deep, situation in exactly ten lines! Some people would struggle to do such good work in so little lines but you definitely accomplished that. I have heard of so many cases from my school in which people try to commit suicide then they get scared because too much blood started draining out and then ran for help, and I got the idea that this poem says that if you are very depressed or stressed that you have to be sure of what you are about to do.. the end states this pretty clearly. Usually you read poems about cutting, but not many about suicide and this is a pretty good suicide poem I must say it is excellent. I didn't read any grammar, spelling, or punctuation mistakes so that is good. Wait nevermind I take that back you have one mistake in this line:

    blood goes the down the drain.

    it would make more sense if you'd write it as: Blood goes down the drain. but I think that is what you meant to write.. so don't pay much attention to it... This poem is also very blunt.. the way it starts out the way it ends, which is most probably why it is so good and precise about what the topic is. Anyway this is an excellent write and I will read some more of your work this is a really great poem I am impressed.
    | Posted on 2005-03-26 00:00:00 | by nj | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    51880

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry