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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The way to kill yourselfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 2836
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 463



    Description:
       Please comment and tell me how you feel about it.


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    dotsThe way to kill yourselfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What do you do when you want to die?
    You grab the knife
    you don't cry
    you clinch your fist and let your blood run down to your wrist.
    You slit your wrist very deep multiple times.
    You hide in the bath tub and let the blood run down your wrist and then the blood goes down the drain.
    Make sure you have no regrets
    because tomorrow you might not wake up.
    This is what you do when you want to die.




    Submitted on 2005-03-26 20:37:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      that was some really deep stuff. i like it though.it impressed me because i normally dont like short poems but thisone i think if it was long then it wuld take away fom the idea of suicide being quick.so good job
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by endmypain | [ Reply to This ]
      that was some really deep stuff. i like it though.it impressed me because i normally dont like short poems but thisone i think if it was long then it wuld take away fom the idea of suicide being quick.so good job
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by endmypain | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved it.
    You grab the knife
    you don't cry
    That really hit home for me. No one really understands about why I cut or whatever and so I am glad that there are poems about it. I made a wise choice adding this poem to my favorites! Thanx!
    ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by fallenpopcorn10 | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem is really short and to me it feels like it could be at least a little longer, it seems to rhymth in a really odd way. death is an obbsession we all have.
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      im not sure if i like this... its too short doesnt have much flow and it doesnt connect. there are some good ideas behind it though so maybe you could try again
    | Posted on 2005-04-01 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the beginning a lot better than the end. It was kinda repetitive though. Towards the end i mean. maybe u should go back and revise it. :)
    ~LeAnna~
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      im gonna add it as a favorite! i really like it... ive never thought about killing my self and etc but i love this.. wow! wonderful job man! seriously! wonderful!
    | Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by anita_89 | [ Reply to This ]
      damn that is some deep [censored]... that is very true though. I hope you are not considering this because that would be the waste of a very talented writer, you just explained a very big, deep, situation in exactly ten lines! Some people would struggle to do such good work in so little lines but you definitely accomplished that. I have heard of so many cases from my school in which people try to commit suicide then they get scared because too much blood started draining out and then ran for help, and I got the idea that this poem says that if you are very depressed or stressed that you have to be sure of what you are about to do.. the end states this pretty clearly. Usually you read poems about cutting, but not many about suicide and this is a pretty good suicide poem I must say it is excellent. I didn't read any grammar, spelling, or punctuation mistakes so that is good. Wait nevermind I take that back you have one mistake in this line:

    blood goes the down the drain.

    it would make more sense if you'd write it as: Blood goes down the drain. but I think that is what you meant to write.. so don't pay much attention to it... This poem is also very blunt.. the way it starts out the way it ends, which is most probably why it is so good and precise about what the topic is. Anyway this is an excellent write and I will read some more of your work this is a really great poem I am impressed.
    | Posted on 2005-03-26 00:00:00 | by nj | [ Reply to This ]


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