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Society


Author: Scribbles1338
ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169 /167 /37
Words: 215
Class/Type: Lyrics /Them
Total Views: 1164
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1404



Description:


This is a little song I wote to a random tune stuck in my head...it sort of follows the beat of a Nickelback song, although I don't know the neme of it. Hope you like it!


Society



Look at the faces of those who pretend
Feeding off of your dreams is an ongoing trend
They look at you with expressionless stares
Shredding your hopes without any care

Can’t you see

They only want you to sell your soul
That way they’re able to retain control
They take you for granted
Surround you with lies
Taking your life and giving
Giving advice

There is a place in this world full of pain
It’s filled with the tears of emotional drain
They tell you that you need to change who you are
But you try to keep them from going too far

Can’t you see

They only want you to sell your soul
That way they’re able to retain control
They take you for granted
Surround you with lies
Taking your life and giving
Giving advice

They do this so slowly it’s hard to take note
Until you discover their knives at your throat
No matter what you do, you’ll never succeed
There’s no way to fight their poisonous greed

Can’t you see

They only want you to sell your soul
That way they’re able to retain control
They take you for granted
Surround you with lies
Taking your life and giving
Giving advice





Submitted on 2005-03-27 19:51:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Nice write. In a way it's just saying "Be yourself and you'll be just fine". Too many people today are getting caught up in fads or following everybody else. I'd really like to know the beat to what Nickelback song it goes too (If you remember please tell me).

I loved this stanza:

They do this so slowly it’s hard to take note
Until you discover their knives at your throat
No matter what you do, you’ll never succeed
There’s no way to fight their poisonous greed

A great write, not just this stanza but the whole song.
| Posted on 2005-04-01 00:00:00 | by BlackAsh | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice choice of title. I like how this turned out. It's a very well done portrayal of how society is, especially since you're right, a lot of that is true.

Interesting choice of repetition on "Can't you see." You keep coming back to that line, and well it's a very strong line, I started to feel like you came back to that line a little too much. That's not to say that it's a bad line, because it's not, but rather that you've used too much. Perhaps you could find another one line connector that you could alternate "Can't you see" with. That may help. On the other hand, you may very well have been after that overpowering repetition.

I also like the idea that you give of giving both lies and advice. Help and hindrance. Well portrayed, and sadly true.

I love how accurately this portrays the society around us. That they can tear and claw and grab at you with absolutely no consideration for how you may feel.

They only want you to sell your soul

That's really the perfect summary for your entire poem, as well as the entirety of society. They only want you to do this or that, or sell your soul. It's not anything that you can control but there's so much strong emotion out there. Well done.
| Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by zyllion | [ Reply to This ]


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