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My Story

Author: musclebound350
ASL Info:    26/male
Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 197 /202 /70
Words: 277
Class/Type: Lyrics /Depressed
Total Views: 1485
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1628


Say what you want. Comment however you want. It's not completely finished.

My Story

spazin out like crazy
dont know what to do maybee

end my life cause im crazy
all because of one single lady

all I wanted is to hold her
just fuckin run me over

then come by and do it again
hit it in reverse and hit me again

oh my god it's happenin again
it's time to call a friend

about to put my life to an end
im like I got no friends she's like I am your friend

what the fuck dont know what to do
it's makin me sick I'm gonna puke

check it out here's some insight
all I wanted in life is a beautiful wife

be with her for the rest of my life
be with her till the day I die

now all these people I do not know
guess they are people I do know

never thought to be friends
always thought as acquaintences

but now there tellin me they are my friends
holy shit I guess I do got friends

always thought I would be alone
never got anyone to call me on the phone

maybee this is why I feel all alone
sit in front of the computer waitin for the phone

hopefully the call is for me i dont know
hope it's a friends just sayin yo

what the fuck I know the truth now
can a friend come over and help me out

need to cry on a shoulder now
damn you thought I should be boulder now

look out gonna holla out
fuck them I'm goin out

Submitted on 2005-03-27 21:13:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  dude wow again with this- I'm not going to say anything bad about it I just want you to know its all going to get better-You need some assurance-you need some confidence. I feel like your slipping away and you dont care-dude dude dude dud
| Posted on 2005-04-12 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
  Honestly, I didn't enjoy. It really just made me slightly irritated, the work in general. I think it made me feel that way due to the word use. For example, the slang and cursing. The general piece, I believe, took away from the message. The entire thing was one huge unclearness. It reminds me of unbalanced drama vs reality issues. It could be improved by simply looking at it and really looking for things that are not clear, jumpy, un-unidirectional, etc. I would have kept my lines more balanced in syllable, made it so my grammer was according to how I want the message to be read, and checked my spelling (keeping slang/cursing to a minimum). The interpretation is that a confused tough guy is questioning himself. It feels original- however.
| Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by RequiemOfDreams | [ Reply to This ]

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