Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Tableau

Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 62
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 843
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 414


a poem I wrote a while ago.. might have lost some of its meaning during the rewrite.... what do you get from it?

The Tableau

I have a vision, a view
of a tableau.
Silent, Still, Sorrow, Shadows.
Wailing, women, mourning widows.
Oh! The pain.
Can you explain?
I see the tears. Feel their fears.
Held in place, posted by the door.
I want to leave,can't take much more.
I stand and scream
until I find,
the view's a just a dream.

Submitted on 2005-03-27 21:14:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  yeah I know what you mean. I too get those Visions sometimes. one of them occurs often, but I don't the meaning behind it. I think it is connected to the Book of Revelations cuz it has seven candles on a holder. there is something moving behind the candles, but what it is I don'nt know.
| Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by hotrodruss | [ Reply to This ]
  I like it. Short and sweet, it has a *point* to it, which always makes me happy. There's only one I think I'd change, and that's the title. 'Vision' is probably used in a million other poems. I know you shouldn't "judge a book by it's cover", but the title is very important. The title has to pull people in. A suggestion for the title would be 'View of a Tableau'. But this is just my opinion. Keep the title if you like, it's your poem, not mine.

Keep up the good work!

| Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by Jester_Gesture | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like this! i've had dreams like this one...alot. the length is JUST RIGHT like Kate said.
how many of us have had nightmares and woke up ...out of the bed?
| Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?