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    dots Submission Name: Does my rape look big in this?dots

    Author: words_can_heal
    ASL Info:    22 Female
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 79/111/22
    Words: 190
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 802
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1222

       I've been offline for ages, and its because some personal stuff has been going on.

    This poem reflects how I feel at the moment. Exactly.

    Hope you can see the underlying message.
    Good to be back people!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDoes my rape look big in this?dots

    Why are you looking at me?
    Is it my hair?
    My eyes?
    Oh...maybe it's my rape.
    Does my rape show in this?
    Should I change it?
    Yes, maybe I should.
    Clearly it's making you uncomfortable.
    I wouldn't want to make you feel bad.
    I can change if you like.
    I'll change into something that covers it up.
    So you don't have to see the rape.
    There might be some of my pain showing too.
    Sorry, that's inappropriate isn't it?
    I just didn't think.
    I can be so stupid sometimes.
    And god, can I be selfish!
    I don't mean to be honestly.
    Its just that sometimes I can't hide the rape.
    I'll see to it that you never see it again.

    You're still looking at me.
    I covered it up.
    The rape, the pain, the abuse, the sadness.
    It's all gone.
    Oh...My eyes.
    You can still see my eyes.
    Does the pain show in my eyes?
    Yeah, I thought it might.
    The mirror sometimes makes me sad.
    Don't worry, I'll close them for you.
    And I'll never open them again.

    Submitted on 2005-03-28 02:23:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Distrubing is what first comes to my mind then that it is executed in such a way with symbolism. A total violation of some manner "Does my rape show in this?" "sometimes I can't hide the rape". Using a senerio with you asking then relaying the answer of the unseen participant of this poem is creatively done disturbingly.
    ~always with love Cheryl~
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, I absolutely love your use of questions in your writting. This one is such a good poem and relays multiple messages and pain and guilt for feeling pain and mocking its silence and how its not something you can hide and it never goes away and its as real as having a third arm sticking out of your chest.
    " Yeah, I thought it might.
    The mirror sometimes makes me sad.
    Don't worry, I'll close them for you.
    And I'll never open them again. "
    You really describe how hard it is to actually look in the mirror and the way it makes you feel. And I think you'll find that a lot of people can relate. So many times people don't understand why you're not over it yet and sadly some of these people are close to you and you don't want to loose them so you actually try to coverup the pain as you so nicely described, like as if its as easy to do as covering a zit, or fat thighs ect. Keep them coming.
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by Gatita | [ Reply to This ]
      That's a brilliant piece of writing. I've never had to cope with it myself but from people I know who've been raped I know that it is something that it takes a very long time to really get over. I'm in complete agreement with what you're saying in this poem; it is completely ridiculus for society to expect victims to just keep it to themselves and carry on like it never happened.
    This poem expresses your emotions so clearly: it's angry and contains a lot of pain but at the same time it's so strong and brave. You will get over this, but never be ashamed to talk if you need to.
    Good luck and keep writing, you obviously have a lot of talent.
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by tulip | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an AMAZING poem. coming from someone that has been through the same, i know EXACTLY what you mean. there are times that others just cant understand where we are coming from and its uncomfortable for them. so instead we hide how we feel so that others arent bothered by it...you have captured another aspect of what rape survivors endure-the criticism of others...brilliant!
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a big subject and when it hits home it makes a lot of peole uncomfortable. No one wants to talk about or acknowldge it, as you mange to convey. A lot of peole don't realizes that by not talking about it they are actually making you feel a guilty as if it were your fault, something you should be ashamed of. It has never happened to me but this poem makes a lot of the emotions your feeling clear.
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by Enslaved Shonen | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a sad poem :( I've never had to deal with it but your poem makes me kind of understand where your coming from, having to hide your feelings because of what everyone else might think of you but it's not your fault to begin with. I'm only in high school and unfortunately know a few people allready who have been raped. You shouldn't have to hide your feelings. I really liked your poem even though it was really sad. *tears* hope you feel better!
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by HurtDeepDown | [ Reply to This ]
      Ummm. I don't think the message is actually UNDERLYING. That's some pretty obvious pain there. But then again maybe there is an underlying message under the overlying one. Here's what I think i'm getting out of it. Message number one you were raped, literally, and it dumped a lot of pain on you. Message two, the pain keeps coming, when people look at you and pretend it didnt happen or that you should get over it. Message number three you do the same thing to yourself that others are doing to you, beating yourself up for not getting over it. ANd you can't ever seem to escape it because every time you look at yourself, it's there. It's a part of who you are now. It's a way of saying things will never be the same again. Is that the message?
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]

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