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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Did you everdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: words_can_heal
    ASL Info:    22 Female
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 79/111/22
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1012
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1195



    Description:
       Im a little crazy atm.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDid you everdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Did you ever want to be a dancer?
    and dance up on a stage?
    I wanted to be a dancer...
    But I heard they don't earn a decent wage.

    Did you ever want to be a hero?
    SOmeone the world would look up to?
    I always wanted to be a hero.
    A hero just like you.

    But I can never be a dancer...
    and a hero? Not a chance.
    Because I never learned to be a hero.
    And I never learned to dance.

    Did you ever want the world to stop...
    and look you in the eye.
    And tell you how good you are.
    and that it see's how hard you try?

    Did you ever want to be a loser?
    Someone who is bad at everything?
    I never wanted to be a loser...
    but I can't control anything.

    I never wanted to be abused.
    And I never wanted to be raped.
    But I just can't control my life...
    Or the way that I've been shaped.

    Did you ever want to be an inspiration?
    Someone who people want to be.
    I've always wanted to inspire others...
    but there's nothing inspiring about me.




    Submitted on 2005-03-28 02:41:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      At first this started out as every day "Did you?" questions. Like being a hero or a dancer. The ending really changed the course of this piece. :( It's very sad. You can't help what you've been through, or your past. You ARE a part of the future though. You have a future. Starting now. That's the way I look at it. You can't hold onto the past so much that you don't look to the future. And everyone is an inspiration. You are an inspiration. Great job. Keep your head up. You are going to do beautiful things with your life.

    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Now this piece written at first like a whining child "Did you ever want to be a loser?
    Someone who is bad at everything?
    I never wanted to be a loser...
    but I can't control anything." and thankfully revolving with mature insightfulness " never wanted to be abuse " And I never wanted to be raped.
    But I just can't control my life...
    Or the way that I've been shaped." Rhyming and reason at times compromises the message of a poem and that is what I feel happened here. I think you should end this differently instead of with the tone of defeat "I've always wanted to inspire others...
    but there's nothing inspiring about me" You write poetry so you are inspired and will inspire!
    ~smile always with love Cheryl~
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this work, you were able to open yourself up and expose your hurt and sadness yet somehow not make an adolescent me, me, me, piece. I think that asking the questions of your readers bring them into the poem rather then have it all about you. There are a few things I might change but I will offer just one suggestion, 5th stanza last line:

    But I can't control a thing.

    I'll look forward to seeing your work again! dmm
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Well this peice is something inspiring about you and this will definetly inspire others. I love the way you ended it. I can relate to that longing. I always wanted to learn to dance- so at the age of 23, I began to learn, and now I am a dancer. I like how you posed it to reader with questions. It makes it feel more reflective and relateable as they read it. Keep inspiring me!
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by Gatita | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. It had so much emotion put into it. It is really sad to. I wanted to be a dancer and be really really well liked. I was never a dancer, but thankfully i do have a good amount of friends. It had a wonderful flow. It had a great rhyme to it also. I liked it so much. Hope you can find yourself.
    Much love to ya
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this one too. There is so much emotion given in your questions and your answers that you give. Its you that is in control of your life...for example, no one made you put these words down on a website but you...and thats inspiring to me that you can do that. Have a good day and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww...now I didn't think I was gonna like this poem at the beginning but now I really do! I can't really relate though cause I used to want to be a dancer (woops) I didn't make it that far but it was worth dreaming for. You wrote that peice perfectly, the flow was nice and the rhyme scheme was too. Nice job!
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by HurtDeepDown | [ Reply to This ]


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    52046

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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