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    dots Submission Name: Downsizingdots

    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1222
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1198

       I got inspired to write this after watching a tv show callled The Office. I think my beginning and ending are a little abrupt. Maybe I need an idea about how to ease into it and end it a little better.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.



    In office politics intense
    You must put up a strong defense.
    A mighty message foes will sense
    When you construct a pencil fence.

    Use pencils new and sharp and long -
    With Number Twos you can’t go wrong.
    Throw in a fine point pen or two...
    The enemy will ne’er get through.

    All your fellow MBA’s
    Are fighting for your rightful place;
    Every colleague is a rival,
    You must fight for your survival!

    The secretaries tell you lies,
    “No mail for you!” the mail clerk cries,
    Accounting lost all your receipts,
    And “someone” broke your office seat!

    They videotape the bathroom stalls
    And tape record your personal calls.
    There are ears in all the walls,
    Just waiting for your axe to fall.

    Some will say you’re paranoid
    When water coolers you avoid.
    But you can give them all the slip
    On linoleum with a paper clip.

    The work place is just dress rehearsal
    For the office universal.
    For people bring you strain and strife
    In the cubicle of life.

    Submitted on 2005-03-28 03:28:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You have captured this very well and for everyone who has been there a smile will apear.
    I like your style and your finess! Keep this up and we will be standing in line at the book store to get your next best thing.
    If you get a chance come read some of my poems and tell me what you think? I would love to here what you have to say!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think the start is too abrupt, but I agree about the ending. Nicely rhymed, although the A-A-A-A verses always sound a little forced, even if they aren't. I too, love to see rhyme, I think otherwise it's prose, so well done. Maybe before the nice metaphor at the end you could put a positive verse or two, as up till then it's all about the negative things going on, so maybe something about winning the promotion in the end, or getting the key to the exec wahroom, something to round the story out. Very well thought out, I like it a lot. Be happy
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's been such a long time since I've read a poem that rhymed like this... I think alot of the people on this site aren't rhyming anymore. So this wuz nice and refreshing and I think you did a really good job with it; I'm surprised no one else has commented on it yet. I do think you should pay more attention to your lines, some of them could use an extra syllable to keep it steady flowing. Cool how you compare real life to office life... makes sense. I didn't think there wuz any abruptness. Good job
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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