Description: i hate senseless talking so this is my rant on the different types of talking that just piss me off, false apologies, ignorance and stupid questions.
Any Other Dust -------------------------------------------
Apologies are just
like any other dust
visible through window’s light
and settles on the soul
what is the worth
of speaking words
that have so little weight?
Fallacies may exist
if only to resist
the truth and all it’s falsehood
to make breathing easy
where is the right
in breathing air
and taking nothing in?
Curiosity takes
billions more than it makes
gives to the subject; deserts
the questioner’s cause
what is the sense
in asking for
answers never yours?
I kinda lost myself somewhere there and had to go back to the beginning to read once more and try to find the flow. I didn't really understand what brought all of the poem together. Apologies? Curiosity? Maybe if yourself a bit more clear. Proper punctuation marks would go well and make it easier to read. I'm sure that if you patch it up a little it'll be a great poem!
Not a bad work. I would perhaps change the fourth line to "and settling on the soul" or somesuch. As it is, it doesn't entirely flow in the proper tense. It seems you are talking about false apologies-I would hope true apologies aren't sucha terrible thing.
Hmmm....I would say this is ok. It needs some work. I think it is choppy. It doesn't have all that great of an ending to me either. I don't think it really fits. I think it was about someone appologiseing and then the other person doesn't except it. I don't really know. Maybe if you put more imagrey in it i could get a better interpretation out of it. Mikki
Submission Name: Any Other Dust
