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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Any Other Dustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ariadne
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 99/85/26
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1047
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 617



    Description:
       i hate senseless talking so this is my rant on the different types of talking that just piss me off, false apologies, ignorance and stupid questions.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAny Other Dustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Apologies are just
    like any other dust
    visible through window’s light
    and settles on the soul
    what is the worth
    of speaking words
    that have so little weight?

    Fallacies may exist
    if only to resist
    the truth and all it’s falsehood
    to make breathing easy
    where is the right
    in breathing air
    and taking nothing in?

    Curiosity takes
    billions more than it makes
    gives to the subject; deserts
    the questioner’s cause
    what is the sense
    in asking for
    answers never yours?




    Submitted on 2005-03-28 12:34:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I kinda lost myself somewhere there and had to go back to the beginning to read once more and try to find the flow. I didn't really understand what brought all of the poem together. Apologies? Curiosity? Maybe if yourself a bit more clear. Proper punctuation marks would go well and make it easier to read. I'm sure that if you patch it up a little it'll be a great poem!
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by silverdrika | [ Reply to This ]
      Not a bad work. I would perhaps change the fourth line to "and settling on the soul" or somesuch. As it is, it doesn't entirely flow in the proper tense. It seems you are talking about false apologies-I would hope true apologies aren't sucha terrible thing.
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by Athalia | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm....I would say this is ok. It needs some work. I think it is choppy. It doesn't have all that great of an ending to me either. I don't think it really fits. I think it was about someone appologiseing and then the other person doesn't except it. I don't really know. Maybe if you put more imagrey in it i could get a better interpretation out of it.
    Mikki
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]


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