Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Death is neardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 686
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 754



    Description:
       rough draft please comment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath is neardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Death is near
    To the ones
    Who seeks it?
    Today isn't my day to die
    I'm breaking down and I'm crying
    The day I die
    My pain will be put aside
    These walls are inclosing on me
    I push and I push
    It doesn't matter
    The are still inclosing on me

    Death is near
    To the ones
    Who seeks it?
    Today isn't my day to die
    The wall is my barrier.
    It's inclosing on me
    I tried to push
    But Iím too weak
    That knife has made me so weak.

    Death is near
    To the ones
    Who seeks it?
    I'm I the one who that seeks death
    Or Iím just fantasizing about it.




    Submitted on 2005-03-28 15:40:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the poem is short and dark and I love it, everyone feels like the walls are closing and that they can do nothing to stop it and i love how you ended make it seem that in the end the walls will close in but then asking if you are just day dreaming about it. good write!
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the feel of this. It is going to happen why hide it. Death is never easy why suger coat it. By the way thanks for the comment on Love of my Life.
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by blackdawn | [ Reply to This ]
      hopefully no day is the day u should die! that was a harsh poem... in a way i can relate! i'm not too sure about the last line tho- mayb u sould fade your poem off more instead off using death twice as the last word in the last 2 lines. im confusng myself!
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by michaela | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    52108

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad
    Giving written by jjd
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry