[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Death is neardots

    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 677
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 754

       rough draft please comment.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath is neardots

    Death is near
    To the ones
    Who seeks it?
    Today isn't my day to die
    I'm breaking down and I'm crying
    The day I die
    My pain will be put aside
    These walls are inclosing on me
    I push and I push
    It doesn't matter
    The are still inclosing on me

    Death is near
    To the ones
    Who seeks it?
    Today isn't my day to die
    The wall is my barrier.
    It's inclosing on me
    I tried to push
    But Iím too weak
    That knife has made me so weak.

    Death is near
    To the ones
    Who seeks it?
    I'm I the one who that seeks death
    Or Iím just fantasizing about it.

    Submitted on 2005-03-28 15:40:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      the poem is short and dark and I love it, everyone feels like the walls are closing and that they can do nothing to stop it and i love how you ended make it seem that in the end the walls will close in but then asking if you are just day dreaming about it. good write!
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the feel of this. It is going to happen why hide it. Death is never easy why suger coat it. By the way thanks for the comment on Love of my Life.
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by blackdawn | [ Reply to This ]
      hopefully no day is the day u should die! that was a harsh poem... in a way i can relate! i'm not too sure about the last line tho- mayb u sould fade your poem off more instead off using death twice as the last word in the last 2 lines. im confusng myself!
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by michaela | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Push written by JanePlane
    True Death written by layDsayD
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]