Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Span


Author: Epiphany
ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342 /2139 /390
Words: 26
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1335
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 202



Description:


I'm at work, I just quit smoking, I'm edgy and irritable and aaaaahhhhhhh.........I'm trying to be creative instead of insane over nicotine!

Love, Peace, Joy and somebody please puff a smoke 4 me!!!


Span



The tips of wing
span
encompass All God's
plan
The wind sings eye
can
The wings now a
fan
Back 2 the time when "IT"
began...




Submitted on 2005-03-28 17:51:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is short and sweet! The title really fits well too! Hey, I noticed you said you quit smoking? Yeah, me too! Going on 4 months for me now and it is still hard but I'm hangin tough. Hope you are too! Take care!
| Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  lol at hyproglo's review about nicotine withdrawal poem...yeah Tiff that will take you to think some things like poem is a perfect example...the result lol...I love where your flying up there where "IT" is all that matters. This poem is pretty and dainty Tiff with no wittiness just pretty and dainty like a feather floating slowly downstream with the air currents..."Back 2 the time when "IT"
began..." like the floating for it seems an eternity...see Tiff this makes people really think great poem. `always love, Cheryl.
| Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
  Truly etherial Piph...
It cool how so few lines can hold such an amazing power.
This one has me invisioning an angel with beautiful outstretched wings set free by the hand of God lofting high above yet embracing someting deep inside from...up there...in the span..
As I'm catching up my required Epiphany readings this late, late evening, I'm feeling the cool breeze of inspiration in the air...
We'll see...
Great poem Piffers...
Me Rikey Rotts!
D.A.T.
| Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by Deep Ace Thinks | [ Reply to This ]
  This sounds like a poem that i would think of but never write... so thank you i have been dying to hear sumthing lke this. i mena this describes me perfectly, cause everything is regretable and i think that i do it a lot. becasue everything begins... so thank tou

- Nammy
| Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ah, still with the "IT" in quotes. I think that the word 'encompass' is redundant here. I think that your use of the word 'span' works on both levels and you could leave 'encompass' off.
Otherwise, nice piece,
Dave
| Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
  There were some things i really liked about this ...It gave some nice pictures....and had sort an old world charm to it ...I don't know if It's just me..the others who have commented havnt said it ..so possibly just me ....I thought it sounded forced ...I went back up and saw the description and thought "Ahhh" ...trying to be creative ...I guess i just saw the "trying" a little too much in it ....Though i love the idea behind it ...I just felt like it didnt hit the spot it was supposed too
| Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
  Pretty sweet formatting on this poem...I liked the play on words with "eye can" going on there. Very original. Is there any specific theme going on there, or just some random thought...I guess I'm too tired to analyze. What a bum.
| Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by Dipsomniac | [ Reply to This ]
  oooo...a nicotine withdrawal poem...guess thats better than heroin withdrawals or a hard flashback, HA! I liked the format of this one and it did flow well...like when "The winds sings eye can" Very good, very inspirational...very you. Sorry I cant send you cigarrette smoke, but I might be able to send you a smoke signal from something else...heh, heh, heh...
| Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



52135