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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Willy Wonka Has Dieddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dipsomniac
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 59/70/18
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 709
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 775



    Description:
       No description for this one. You guys read into it and tell me what you got.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWilly Wonka Has Dieddots
    -------------------------------------------


    All along I致e known this was true
    The sand is running low and so is life
    So I値l collect my busted stuff
    And head off, out into the blue

    When worlds collide again
    I値l be lying on the sand
    Staring up into the abyss
    Gaping hole into your soul

    So I知 throwing everything away
    Swallowed up by the clouds
    In a world where gravity is backwards
    I知 falling down

    I知 out of the pan, into the fire
    I知 weighed down and walking a wire
    I知 trying to run in the bog and the mire
    Clamped down, it be my fear and desire

    Try and try again
    Maybe this time I値l win
    In a world where luck is candy
    Willy Wonka has died




    Submitted on 2005-03-28 19:02:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this poem
    not to mention the fact I am a huge Roald Dahl fan

    all i can say is dont give up
    Positive thoughts and positive feelings should help carry you thru whatever your going thru

    the last line was what hit me after reading that last line i read your poem again and it was more clearer to me

    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my god! I love this... at first i didnt really think i would and i thought it was kinda boring, but the end just made up for everythng else. Great Job!
    ~LeAnna~
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      a gem trapped in a coal biscuit of a title. i h8d willy wonka growin up and i wanted the details. lol. anyways, i liked it. didn't love it, didn't hate it. i think that if you gave a little too much credit to a small line in the piece. the last line does hold great imagery as does the whole piece, but maybe a better focus than that child-stealing dastard.jk. good stuff, loved the images. keep it up. wobble wobble and drop it like its hot~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      To tell the truth this is fairly depressing. The vertiguous meandering from one bizarre dream world to the next. My interpretation is that this person is wandering around looking for a place that will keep him, or looking for success somewhere, and then the utter realization comes to him that is a heck of a lot harder than he thinks! Willy wonka the supplier of candy (i) luck, has died and their is only one utter thunderbolt reality that success is very hard thing to come by. Awesome write, fairly creative, a bit depressing though...Proverbial ending, the main character is fighting and always giving it one more chance.
    J.C. Prescott
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by jcpdandalice | [ Reply to This ]
      I gleaned from this a WISH for reality as you really wish "IT"...but again, tis mere gravity that seems 2 pull us d
    o
    w
    n...I, especially on nights as tonight, wish people would see what LIFE really could B...but I appear to B 1 of the DREAMERZ...I like the idea of using Willy Wonka...it brought to mind what should have been a great adventure for all but really was for only Willy, the kool boy & his grandpa...ROCK ON, ROCK ON...Love, Peace, Joy! "Turn "IT" UP; BRING THA NOISE" Anthax & Public Enemy ; > }
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      well wen i saw the tital i was thinking "yay finaly!" but i ges i don't git to hear the details of wat happined to the sadistic (censored). oh well, lol. the imagry you used in this is prity kool it read well too. my favorite part is this:
    Try and try again
    Maybe this time I値l win
    In a world where luck is candy
    Willy Wonka has died
    it sounds so helpless in an ironic way it's realy funny but not realy something to laugh bout for some reason. this one made me think. meby for yer next poem you could tell us exactly HOW willy wonka died (don't forget the gorey details! lol) anyways thx for the interesting read.
    keep on the keepin' on,
    mheracai
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha, for it's length, I love this poem. The images are definitely new, and make me think.

    "So I値l collect my busted stuff" is great. I don't hear the word "busted" very often, and it definitely gives the piece flavor.

    "So I知 throwing everything away
    Swallowed up by the clouds
    In a world where gravity is backwards
    I知 falling down"

    That's my favorite stanza. The way when you are supposed to be rising, you are falling.

    Clear, to the point, and made me think. A+.
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by DeadGod | [ Reply to This ]


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