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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: MARCH = SOn IN ARIESdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 224
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 711
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 629



    Description:
       A really mature, positive conversation with my son's father...NOT. I am just 1 who'z feelings get hurt so easily. For HIM I always pray and wish for great things...for me only hatred and malcontent.....
    .
    .
    .
    "One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way." VINCENT Van Gogh wrote in a letter once...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMARCH = SOn IN ARIESdots
    -------------------------------------------


    May eye serve Great Creator
    as does the Red Hawk as
    HE glidez with the windz
    May LOVE & TRUST BE
    my celestial parents
    May my forgiveness extend
    as the flourishing poppy 2 the SON
    May i truly BELIEVE ALL
    my mental battles already WON <.
    May i offer many thanx .
    4 never-ending tommorrows .
    May my happiness FAR .
    outweigh my sorrowz........................................




    Submitted on 2005-03-28 20:58:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Without a doubt this sounds like an American Indian prayer. I enjoyed greatly the message put forth in this piece, the simplicity and sincerity. I am not completely comfortable with the grammatical liberties taken. I believe all the beauty and sweetness of this poem could have been conveyed without lose using better punctuation and spelling. But I still find it a very touching and lovely work. dmm
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. Your words are vivid and expressive. It has good rhythm and reads well, and has a good message. Love, trust and forgiveness is something we all need to learn more of I guess.
    I like this part:
    "May i truly BELIEVE ALL
    my mental battles already WON <."
    And this:
    "May my happiness FAR .
    outweigh my sorrowz".
    It sounds like a prayer .. and a statement as well.
    A very good poem and enjoyable read.

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the style of the this. It seems as though you wrote this while angry the numbers and way you write make it seen as though I an watching you write it. Like you don't care what happens only that the words come out. It is good for that resion (sp?) it has the ablity to be there and not really ask for anything but for the reader to listen and see. It is very good.
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by Kira Goddess | [ Reply to This ]


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