it could have been longer and maybe have had a few more detail. the write sounds good spoken. I'm not so sure what it's supposed to mean.. to me the message is unclear. with a little work i think this write could be spectacular.. you're on the right path! <33
I'd like to be different and say i liked this poem... it does have a meaning to it if you're not too blind to see it! I think its a very good job... short and sweet and i liked the language used! Well done, keep the faith.