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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Boxeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 862
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 588



    Description:
       I'm not sure how good this is, but I wrote something, so I'm happy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBoxeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    We stow ourselves away
    when we're not in use
    in our filing cabinet offices
    doing jobs
    that we perform like somnambulists
    in our dull crate uniforms
    we call our homes
    in which we are hypnotized
    by cubes of flickering light
    and twittering sound.
    We move from storage unit
    to storage unit
    in our wheeled boxes,
    and getting in and out of them
    is the only fresh air,
    tThe only natural light
    we ever get.
    Our brains continue to atrophy
    as our waistbands expand.




    Submitted on 2005-03-29 14:21:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      "doing jobs we perform like somnambulists"

    ah sleep walking through life...the 9-5 hum drum...not for me...

    don't want to atrophy...and it is so easy to do....

    with nothing to challenge our minds...it happens...

    i used to work in a refinery during summers in college..digging ditches for oil leaks...i kept sane by singing to myself all day..although it was good exercise for the body...my mind wanted to fall asleep...

    i relate to this..had several jobs like it...and now am so grateful to teach...it challenges me while i get to challenge others

    i really like this poem and your clever phrasing.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-12-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      There should be more shouldn't there? I often wonder how a person can live a life from house to car to work to car to home to couch to TV to bed. There just has to be more. Of course, for most of us on here, I'm sure there is. Afterall, this is more than TV. At least we're creating things, and interacting.

    I think you do a fine job here of capturing that feeling of listless existence. And yeah, the waistline seems to be a good guide.
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of the movie Office Space...I love that movie. I have never worked in an office before, I swore I never would. I couldn't even bear the thought of experiencing what you describe above. But I know you are talking about other things as well. I love the part about the waistline expanding. People in our society are growing sleepier and fatter. They sleepwalk through their days, they perform monatanous tasks that they have no passion for and they eat crap and fast food and everything winds up being void of any kind of soul at all. Visiting Europe is the cure for all of that. My whole perspective changed when I went to Denmark. They live so differently. We have to wake up. This is great Amy. xo Magnolia
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      this is great and so true... jump out of the box people!! it's like those cubicle things people work in, all closed in in their own little worlds. this has a lot of great images, i like the "dull crate uniforms." like robots, really. great job!
    you have a typo in the last line. "out waistbands" should be "our waistbands," yes?
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Funny how my main aim in life as a marketer is to 'think outside the box'... clearly admitting that I'm in one ;-) You've done a brilliant job with this. Unique images and thought provoking lines -
    "And getting in and out of them
    Is the only fresh air
    The only natural light
    We ever get"
    Captures the sad reality of being caught in a colorless, mindless and stereotype life that just carries on and on until we get put into yet another 'box' for the eternal rest... Very well written!
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      This is life in America, right down to staring at the "flickering box". Well, thankfully I am not a television head, I am an elite head. How do we propose to get people to think "outside of the box?" This is really well done, Amy, I like how you've addressed an ill of society in a unique way. This perspective is really well thought out and your images are really fresh. Great job, thanks for sharing this one.
    Hugs and raspberry torte
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Love how you likened a sickening 9-to-5 job to living in boxes. The claustrophobic atmosphere of a cubicle is described perfectly! How people work in automation.
    At least,that's the way I interpreted it.
    Anyone having mundane jobs reading this will immediately tender in their resignations I think.
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      Talk about a lot of descriptions and symbolic meaning in this! :) I really like it. Your familiar style and format is a great comfort to me. The words always amaze me though. :) It is something the way people robotically go about their life not taking in the little pleasures in life such a nice day. I enjoyed this greatly. Great job!
    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I used to be one of those people (and probably still am a little bit). this was great. I too am quite cynical and every time I see a woman working in an office, I imagine there's a stick up her ass, and then I remember that used to be me! oh well. your poem says it all! nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      i am as cynical as i believe you are.at least that is what i got from this piece.the world is mudane for a lot of people.im an idealist.not good to be in this day in age good luvk
    lol
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the thoughts behind this. However I find this piece somewhat forced. As if you wanted to say something but kinda lost it in the timing. The descriptiveness is good and I can see the images you are writing about. But I am sorry I am lost but the lack of flow. The subject matter is something really cool to write about and I am glad you chose it. I wouold like to see this piece cleaned up a little. But it is all about poetic license, if you like it the way it is, then by all means do not let my simple self disuade you.
    | Posted on 2005-03-29 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]


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